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Monday, July 29, 2013

Fritz's Railroad Restaurant

The Grunion is WAY into trains like I'm into fries.  Last week we blew his mind by taking him to this train-themed joint in the Crown Center in Kansas City where trains actually bring you your food.  Also, I wanted to try the fries. 

The first thing you should notice is the Disneyland ride line stanchion thingys to the left there.  Usually, there is a huge wait for this place because every kid within 500 miles of Kansas City wants to go to this place.  We were super lucky it was dead (on a Friday night even) cause the boy band One Direction was playing that night at the local arena.  We figured every female kid was at the concert and all the male kids were at home cause the parents spent all their money on tickets.

Anyway, we waltzed right in.  As an added piece of fun, there are phones on the tables where you "call in" your order to the kitchen.  Here you can see the tracks high up near the ceiling that the trains cruise around on.

The trains have metal platforms hanging from them that they place plastic trays on (with the food in them) and when the order gets to the right table a little arm flips down and pushes the tray onto another platform which then lowers down to the table. 

Here is a clearer picture of the lowering-down thingy.

The first time a train came around the corner from the kitchen, the Grunion FREAKED OUT.
He then proceed to yell "The train is coming!" EVERY TIME A TRAIN WENT BY (which was every 5 seconds).  We loved it cause it was way annoying and we enjoy annoying people now.

For the next 20 minutes, the Grunion's head was swiveling around to look at all the food delivery trains so much we thought he was gonna pass out and/or barf.

Fries?  Large please.

The prices (other than for the fries) were remarkably low.  We found out why later.  Here is the Double Bacon Cheeseburger (and large fries).  The burger was like one of those microwave ones that you get at 7-11.  Nasty.

And you're trying to tell me that is a "large" order of fries?  Boo.

Elementary school food service crinkles.  For $2.59?  Crap!  3 out of 10.

It didn't really matter though cause the Grunion was so fun to watch.  He thanked us profusely, and told us that he loved the train restaurant.  We loved it too (but not the food).

P.S.  We took him back the next day and he had just as much fun.  And the food still sucked.
P.P.S.  Here is a picture of our view from our hotel room at 8pm right before we went to bed.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Streetcar Named Desire in KC

First of all, before you go correcting me, the name of the joint is Streetcar Named Desire NOT A Streetcar Named Desire.  The manager gave me a big old explanation when I asked about it.  Has to do with copyrights and trademarks, etc.  Anyhoo, the place is in the uber-touristy Crown Center and has an old Kansas City streetcar as the front.  Get it?

I think it's an actual streetcar, anyway.  I wasn't about to ask the manager another question.

There is absolutely no point in sitting in this restaurant unless you are sitting in the streetcar at the front.  And since there's only room for about 12 people, this can be troublesome.  We got to sit there cause the Grunion slipped the hostess a Lincoln.

I expect stuff to cost a bit more at a tourist trap.

But $2.95 for this crap was depressing.

About 26 cheapo elementary school cafeteria fries on a styrofoam plate.  Even the Grunion wouldn't eat em.

Streetcar Named Desire?  Should be Streetcar Named Disheartening.  Boo.  3 out of 10.

Monday, July 8, 2013

The Top Tens

The thing people ask me the most is, "Gibby, when are you gonna lose weight?".  But seriously folks, try the veal! The thing they ask second-most is "Where are the best fries?".  The problem with this question is that not only do these people not all live in the same place, but also that I DON'T KNOW.

I have posted over 200 fry reviews now, and I kinda forget.  So, since you are all too lazy to read 200+ reviews, I have painstakingly researched all the 10 out of 10s here in the report and I present them to you now so you can get back to JUST asking about my weight.  BTW, since these are all 10s they are in no particular order so keep your smart remarks to yourself.

Grub's in Fayetteville
Sassy's in Fayetteville
Louie's in Fayetteville
Tilted Kilt (all over the U.S.)
75th Street Brewery in Kansas City
Mr. Dunderbak's in Daytona Beach
The Bleu Monkey in Springdale
21c Hotel in Bentonville
Skylark in Chicago
Tuman's Tap and Grill in Chicago

Honorable Mention: Edzo's in Chicago cause they have several 9 out of 10s

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