I Am A Fancy Pants

I was in DC a few months back and had dinner at a fancy schmancy steakhouse that's located inside the MGM Casino near the National Harbor. Normally I wouldn't mess with joints like this but it was a family thing so it's ok. 

Bar that looks like a library...check.

Casino style booths....check.

Steak Fries with Housemade Ketchup? I do believe I will thank you very much. $10 is the equivalent of like 25 cents in this place.

NICE. They came in a little pot. Decent amount and the ketchup was awesome. There was also another sauce that I think they call "Beer-Naise". It was good too.

Very nice.

I have to say that this joint is expensive, but the service was over-the top awesome and the food was all really good. I had the hot honey chicken and it was incredible. If you ever have a chance (and the funds) to try this place, you should DO IT.

By the by, my son ate an $82 16oz wood-fired ribeye steak and declared it "Meh".

Yee Haw it's the Cadillac Ranch!

 A good while back I was in DC for a thing and I was staying in a swanky hotel near the National Harbor. There was this theme place across the street that looked hilarious so I gave it a go. It's a chain but as far as I know there are only three locations at the moment.

It looks like a tacky steakhouse in Amarillo. 

AND THEY HAVE A MECHANICAL BULL RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE JOINT. 

Now you have to realize that this area of DC is pretty swanky so I was not surprised that the loaded fries were priced to keep middle class people away.

But I was surprised at the insulting portion size. 

$12.50 for this. And they were meh.

DO NOT DO THIS.

The only reason to go here is to see a lady fall on her head trying to ride the bull. Which she did.

Dogs and Fries - What a Country!

So there's this bar/restaurant under a highway in Kansas City called Bar-K that is dog friendly. Get it? BARK?  They have a huge area for dogs to run around and poop and bark and hump each other. It's a hoot. Meanwhile, you sit there and eat fries and drink beer.

 

Their "Signature Fries" are $11 and come with a bunch of sauces.

The fries are pretty good but I should note that I forgot to take pictures of the sauces. They really "made" the whole experience.

Pretty good.

I'm not sure these are worth $11 but it's a pretty nice scene. 

Be warned that if you don't have a dog with you the dog people will look at you funny

Taco Bell is Run by Aliens

Okay my well deserved hiatus is over. A year is a short amount of time when you are doing fry research. Anyhoo, Taco Bell will not stop. Even after all my complaints and advice, they just seem to want to destroy the fry world.

Their most recent travesty is a call back to the first time they decided to hate on us with Nacho Fries.

You give them $2.99 (or thereabouts I can't remember) and they give you a soggy box.

Filled with slimy faux potato substance covered in toppings that had apparently previously fallen on the floor.

And why are they only in the Northwest part of the box?

I chose the steak option cause I thought it would be fancier. That "steak" is like old tree bark flavored chewing gum scraped off a Detroit city bus seat.

No.

Do not eat. Bad.

Poconos Potatoes Promoted

If you're ever driving through the Poconos (which I do at least twice a month) you should check out the Top of the 80s in Hazleton, PA.

Named for the intersection of two highways with the number 8 in them (so clever), this joint is peak Poconos. It's hanging off the side of a mountain, has mostly old people eating, and for some reason they have a lot of seafood on the menu even though they are A) in the mountains, and B) 125 miles from a coast.  Whatever.

Fries with a view.

The Grunion wolfed these down as an "appetizer" before destroying a burger or something. Hey that's my Tilt shirt!

I guess they really hit the spot after a long day in the back seat complaining about how long the drive is and asking over and over when we are going to eat again.

I had to snap these pics super fast cause I think the fries only lasted like 3 minutes. He gave them the thumbs up, although when I asked him what they tasted like he just shrugged. Probably didn't have a chance to taste em.

Because I am fancy, I enjoyed the House Made Potato Pancakes served with sour cream and green stuff. They were temperate, yet adequate.

We watched the sunset and wondered what the poor people were doing.  DO IT.

Argenta is Lush with Fries

The last time I was in Argenta (reclaimed hipster area North of downtown LR across the river) was when it was first being hipsterfied. That was probably 20 years ago and now it's full on snickerdoodle dogs and looneylemon stretchy pants. One thing about those folks is that they like high quality food though. Brood & Barley is there so I tried it.

Standard "used to be a store and we made it into a bar" decor thing going. 

I asked the kid about the Chesapeake fries and he confirmed it's just fries with Old Bay seasoning on them so I went with the Shush ones instead.

High quality. I have to note that what you are seeing here is the "happy hour" portion for $5 so don't freak out - the portion is decent.

I didn't bother to ask what was in the Shush sauce but these were really good. DO IT.

Next up was Flyway Brewing (right around the corner from B&B). They have a birds theme. CAW!

 

 Standard brewery taproom look - check.

 

"Famous" Gumbo Cheese Fries for THIRTEEN DOLLARS? Sign me up! I would have liked some nice buffalo chicken fries as well but sweet potatoes are not real potatoes and they can rot in hell.

BOOM.

NICE. These suckers are FULL ON. Savory and crawfishy with a nice spicy kick.

Thirteen bucks is a kick to the giblets but these are pretty close to perfect. DO IT ON PAYDAY.

 

 

I Don't Know Why I Keep Doing This

I see these things in the gas station and I'm like.." Maybe this is the one. Maybe this time I will discover the best thing ever and my life will be complete and I will win the lottery and there will be world peace because I discovered something cheap and stupid that is actually amazing like bubble wrap."

But then I...

No...just...no.

Airports are Weird Places to Eat

So I'm a jetsetter. And I was jetsettin in the Charlotte airport and I needed some fries. The closest "restaurant" to my next flight was this joint Whiskey River.

Decor was like what Disneyland thinks rednecks like. Faux cowhide chairbacks.

Mechanical bull (with festive St. Patricks Cape).

But you can't beat the view so...

LET'S HEAT THINGS UP WITH SOME TOTS! 

Hmm.

These tots were not at all spicy/hot, the pulled pork was gummy, and the portion was crapola. These things sucked bad. The waitress noticed I only ate half (she knew fatties like me always wolf down anything) and asked if there was something wrong with them.I told her they sucked and she said "Yeah, they do. But the wings are awesome-you should have tried those."  WTH? Thanks for the post tip.

So anyway I got the wings and they were awesome. But this is not a wing report.