Tokyo Fries are Mostly Lit

You know that thing where you and your wife are sittin around and then you're like "hey we should go to Tokyo" and then like you go there for 9 days?  Well anyway that happened to us a few weeks ago and lemme tell ya, Tokyo is keepin the fry dream alive. 

This is a very artistic photo I took of the street in front of our hotel in Shinjuku at night. It cost me a buttload to get them to wet the whole scene down for the shot.

Shinjuku is one of the busiest entertainment districts in Tokyo and the joint Kawaru Cafe sits several floors above one of the main crossings. So the idea is that you sit in the window and have a knosh and watch the crowds. Only they are complete dicks about the seats near the windows on accounta they only seat 2 people so if you are a party of 3 you can suck it and you get no view even though the whole place was completely empty when we went. 

They get around being jerks by saying that the tables near the windows are reserved for people coming later but it was clear that later meant night time. Anyway their fries were good and they had the Scottish beer I like to they get a mention but no recommendation.

Tokyo has this crazy madness for capsule toy vending machines called "Gachapon" that are similar to the machines in the US that have a little turny crank thing and a crappy toy comes out the bottom in a plastic bubble. Anyhoo the Japanese have of course taken this to an ABSURD level and these machines are literally everywhere in the city. Some of them have kinda fun stuff, but a lot of them have the most mundane crap I have ever seen. 

Furniture?

Handbags?

And whatever these things are....

There are also skill crane machines everywhere but we determined fairly quickly that they are a PUNK ASS SCAM and there is no way to win anything. Even when you try 26 times to get a freakin french fry keychain and the thing totally bones you.

 Also the skill cranes are full of crazy stuff. This is not AI or photoshopped.

And also Monchichi is still very much a big deal in Tokyo. Why? Because Japan.

There is a big plaza in the middle of Shinjuku where they do different stuff each night and one night there were a bunch of food trucks there. We got these foot long fries. They were good enough.

We almost got a "Totilla Sandwich" but then we realized that it was stupid.

Artsy photo break. This is the view from our hotel (night).

This is what Mt Fuji looks like when you are standing halfway up it.

Ok back to the fries. Here's some fries we had an Irish pub in Asakusa. They were $2.50. Plain but good deal.

I am obsessed with a Japanese children's lunch box staple called Tako-San aka octopus wieners. No, they are not made from octopus wieners. In fact, they are not octopus at all but rather small hot dogs that the chef cuts to look like octopuses? octopii? 

Whatever. They are mini hot dogs that look like little octopusessesses that they pan fry. They are awesome and fun. And also they go well with fries. We had these in Shinjuku late night. Decadent!

If you get a chance to go to Tokyo to eat french fries, DO IT.

Demo's Smokehouse is a Mystery

A coworker of mine told me that the best BBQ in Jonesboro AR is this joint called Demo's. I don't review BBQ but he said their fries are "the best fries I will ever have ever ever ever ever". I've heard this type of talk before, so I laughed and laughed. He got angry and took me to Demo's immediately.

So they've been there for decades and their BBQ is award winning and all that. But what about the fries? Now that I think of it, why do you never see a joint advertising that their fries are award-winning? Are there no fry competitions? Maybe I should look into that...

So here they are. Crinkles that they claim are brined in sea salt and double fried, which would also imply that they are fresh cut. 

If these suckers are fresh cut and double fried then they have done the best job I have ever encountered with making exact copies of Ore-Ida frozen crinkles. They are good. But the best ever? Nah.

Demo's BBQ is great (I had the ribs and they were awesome) and their fries are high quality, but not the best ever ever ever ever ever. 

BUT DO IT ANYWAY 

 P.S. I would also like to point out that somewhat ironically "demo" in Japanese means "but" or "however" which means in Japan their joint would be called "Butt BBQ" or "However BBQ" which I thought was kinda funny. 

Don't Sleep on the Meteor Cafe

At some point in your life you become a brunch category person. It's mostly about age, and you can't do anything about it. I consider myself a rocker/alternative guy so thinking of myself as a brunch person is depressing. However, I take solace in creating the mental excuse that it's really just eating lunch early so that you can eat dinner early and go to bed early so it's ok. And while the Meteor Cafe in Fayetteville isn't exclusively a brunch place, I tend to go there at about 10:30am so I'm calling it a brunch place. 

So the burger is great and it comes with their OMG Fries which have a heavy dusting of harissa powder on em. I don't mind the harissa but it becomes a bit much about halfway through. It's not spicy heat really, it's just a really overpowering taste. Their ketchup and ranch for dipping is a must.

The second time I went I asked them to make my fries without the harissa and I liked them better. Also don't order two orders cause it's a lot.

Meteor Cafe is a fancier joint than I usually frequent, but it's totally worth it.

DO IT. 

I Am A Fancy Pants

I was in DC a few months back and had dinner at a fancy schmancy steakhouse that's located inside the MGM Casino near the National Harbor. Normally I wouldn't mess with joints like this but it was a family thing so it's ok. 

Bar that looks like a library...check.

Casino style booths....check.

Steak Fries with Housemade Ketchup? I do believe I will thank you very much. $10 is the equivalent of like 25 cents in this place.

NICE. They came in a little pot. Decent amount and the ketchup was awesome. There was also another sauce that I think they call "Beer-Naise". It was good too.

Very nice.

I have to say that this joint is expensive, but the service was over-the top awesome and the food was all really good. I had the hot honey chicken and it was incredible. If you ever have a chance (and the funds) to try this place, you should DO IT.

By the by, my son ate an $82 16oz wood-fired ribeye steak and declared it "Meh".

Yee Haw it's the Cadillac Ranch!

 A good while back I was in DC for a thing and I was staying in a swanky hotel near the National Harbor. There was this theme place across the street that looked hilarious so I gave it a go. It's a chain but as far as I know there are only three locations at the moment.

It looks like a tacky steakhouse in Amarillo. 

AND THEY HAVE A MECHANICAL BULL RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE JOINT. 

Now you have to realize that this area of DC is pretty swanky so I was not surprised that the loaded fries were priced to keep middle class people away.

But I was surprised at the insulting portion size. 

$12.50 for this. And they were meh.

DO NOT DO THIS.

The only reason to go here is to see a lady fall on her head trying to ride the bull. Which she did.

Dogs and Fries - What a Country!

So there's this bar/restaurant under a highway in Kansas City called Bar-K that is dog friendly. Get it? BARK?  They have a huge area for dogs to run around and poop and bark and hump each other. It's a hoot. Meanwhile, you sit there and eat fries and drink beer.

 

Their "Signature Fries" are $11 and come with a bunch of sauces.

The fries are pretty good but I should note that I forgot to take pictures of the sauces. They really "made" the whole experience.

Pretty good.

I'm not sure these are worth $11 but it's a pretty nice scene. 

Be warned that if you don't have a dog with you the dog people will look at you funny

Taco Bell is Run by Aliens

Okay my well deserved hiatus is over. A year is a short amount of time when you are doing fry research. Anyhoo, Taco Bell will not stop. Even after all my complaints and advice, they just seem to want to destroy the fry world.

Their most recent travesty is a call back to the first time they decided to hate on us with Nacho Fries.

You give them $2.99 (or thereabouts I can't remember) and they give you a soggy box.

Filled with slimy faux potato substance covered in toppings that had apparently previously fallen on the floor.

And why are they only in the Northwest part of the box?

I chose the steak option cause I thought it would be fancier. That "steak" is like old tree bark flavored chewing gum scraped off a Detroit city bus seat.

No.

Do not eat. Bad.