The Grunion's 2nd Birthday

Hard to believe we've been able to keep the Grunion alive for 2 years. I think the original point of birthday parties for kids under like 5 years old was so that other adults could give the parents of the birthday kid acknowledgement for not forgetting to feed the kid.  And I have no illusions about the fact that Amy is the one who has kept the Grunion so healthy and happy (I forgot to feed him dinner as recently as this week).  That's probably why athletes always say "Hi Mom" to the camera after they score-they have this innate knowledge that their Mom is who kept them alive all those years.

Anyhoo, we had a small get together for the Grunion.  All the usual suspects were there. Since the Grunion now worships Thomas the Tank Engine, the decor was appropriately so.

The Grunion CLEANED UP in the gift department.  He got stuff from MeMaw and PaPaw, Aunties Sissy, Patty, and Donna, Uncle Kenny, Aunt Cindy and Uncle Tom, Auntie Kathryn and Uncle Brad, Mark and Cindy, Cousin Lisa and Chachie, and the Bandit.  Z even got caught up in the moment and viciously attacked some of the presents.

All told, the Grunion got somewhere in the neighborhood of 6,592 presents.  Shocking.  Back when I was his age, I got a twig tied with a string to the leg of a Luke Skywalker action figure.  Kids these days have it so easy.  The Grunion is lucky to have such a wonderful family.

By the way, I'd like to note the difference between a one year old and a two year old's approach to cake.  Two year old:

One year old:

Oh, and some of you may remember the Barbie jeep the Grunion inherited from Laura J:

About a month ago, we noticed the Barbie jeep was missing from the garage.  When we asked Chachie about it, he said "I'm doing some experiments on it"  and added ominously (think mob guy) "don't worry about it."  We decided not to worry about it since Chachie knows how to work power tools without hurting himself.

Anyway, yesterday Chachie pulls up with the Barbie jeep in the back of his truck TRANSFORMED INTO A SUPER-COOL RAZORBACK JEEP.

I know what you're thinking.  "Gibby, that jeep is okay, but does it go TWICE AS FAST as it did before Chachie souped it up?"

Yes it does.

You're also probably thinking "yeah but does it now have functional headlights, taillights, AND FLOODLIGHTS?"

Yes it does.

And of course it goes without saying that each of the lights should be controlled with a separate switch on the dashboard THAT LIGHTS UP AS WELL.

You see my friends, Chachie is like the Honey Badger when it comes to "projects".  He doesn't care about limits like stupid electrical problems or how hard it is to paint plastic or how hard it is to find a Razorback license plate that fits a Barbie jeep.  He just gets it done (and I'm pretty sure he bites inanimate objects too).  As Chachie's brother once told me, "that Chachie is as handy as a pocket on a shirt."  Indeed.  As handy as a pocket on a shirt.  And twice as bad ass.

GRUNION:  Yo Z!  This thing kicks!  Jump in and let's blow this chicken coop!

Z:  Punch it!

Z:  Head for the street!  Follow Jenkins, he knows the way!

PARENTS:  Come back here!
GRUNION and Z:  Muhuhahaha!  See ya, suckers!

GRUNION:  We'll never forget you Jenkins!
JENKINS:  Whatever.

Z:  Grunion?

GRUNION:  Yeah?

Z:  Will we really make it to Yo Gabba Gabba Land?
GRUNION:  I don't know, Z.  But we're sure gonna try.  We're sure gonna try.

Editor's Notes:   
1.  Cousin Lisa gets the assist as a technical advisor on the Razorback jeep.
2. Chachie apologized that he wasn't able to create an ignition system with an actual key and that the horn that plays the Razorback fight song "wasn't ready yet."
3.  The Grunion and Z were last spotted on the 540 South on ramp.

A Good Dog

At some point many years ago when we were still dating, I told Amy about how sad it was for me that I could never have a dog as a kid because of all the overseas living (dogs are somewhat cruelly quarantined for great lengths of time in most countries before they are allowed to enter).

On my next birthday after I told Amy this, she presented me with an impossibly cute beagle puppy, saying “You don’t live overseas now. You should have a dog.”

That moment was the moment I knew that I would marry Amy.

In fact, the night I asked Amy to marry me, I put the engagement ring on Walter's collar. I expected Amy to see it immediately, but predictably  it took her over an hour to notice it while I sweated and waited-making comments like “Walter sure looks cute tonight” and “Walter kinda looks like he needs a good petting” to try to get her to notice the ring.

The breeder named him “Sugarfoot” (because all four of his feet had white fur), but I promptly renamed him “Walter” after Walter Mondale (because it's much more ridiculous). Walter grew, ate our shoes, yelped annoyingly all night in his crate, got what we called “the rips”-tearing through the house at full speed (usually with a toy or blanket in his mouth), slept on our chests like a baby, barked at the kids going to and leaving the school across our street, licked our newborn son's foot, and slept on our bed on many occasions.

Walter shared our lives for 11 years.  And like all living things, Walter got old, and Walter got sick. And earlier today, he died peacefully with me at his side.

As I sit here writing this with tears streaming from my face, I realize that I am not sad just for losing Walter, but because he was a physical representation of our marriage. He was a constant reminder of the story of us. And now he is gone.

I loved my dog Walter. He was a good dog.  And I will never forget him.

Walter “Sugarfoot” Mondale-Gibson 2000-2011

Apocalypse Grunion

The Grunion got a little too much sun recently.....
music: The End by The Doors

GRUNION:  They were gonna make me a major for this, and I wasn't even in their (expletive deleted) army anymore.

GRUNION: Everybody wanted me to do it.  Him most of all.  I felt like he was up there, waiting for me to take his pain away.

GRUNION:  He just wanted to go out like a soldier.  Standing up.  Not some rag-assed renegade.

GRUNION:  Even the jungle wanted him dead.

GRUNION:   And that's who he really took his orders from anyway.....

Grunion and Z Catch a Train

Meanwhile, at the Botanical Gardens...

GRUNION:  Yo, Z!  Let's hop on this train and ride in style instead of sweatin our butts off draggin all over this piece!  We can sit up here near the driver.

Z:  Are you crazy?  I'm only 22 months old but I know only dorks sit near the driver!  Follow me down here to the cool kids section.

GRUNION:  Look at all those suckers sittin under that tree!  We're gonna school em!

Z:  Yo, when does this joint fire up?  I'm gettin sweaty!

Z:  Um.....Grunion?
GRUNION:  Yeah?
Z:  I don't think this thing moves, man.
GRUNION:  Dammit.

Chicago Revisited

Buckle up kids, this is a long one...

We had so much fun the last time we went to Chicago, we decided to recreate the experience a couple of weeks ago.  The drive up was pretty uneventful (except for the fact that the girls drove most of the way cause I was so tired) and we arrived as usual to have our ceremonial Gumballhead around the kitchen bar at Shannon and Andy's.

The itinerary dictated that we would go immediately to Bangers and Lace.  What?  You don't make a detailed itinerary for every trip you take right down to the minute?  Not my fault you're weird....

Anyhoo, a few minutes later we were at Bangers and Lace.  Do they have fries?

Yup.  And they're pretty good.  Kinda steep tho.  I'll give em a 7.

A few beers later back at Shannon and Andy's, the Bandit decided to "plank" the kitchen floor.  I don't think she's quite grasped the concept of planking yet.  Then again, we did have quite a few beers at Bangers and Lace.  Come to think of it, she may have slept there.  I can't remember.

The next day we toured the Two Brothers brewery, which is about 45 minutes west of Chicago in this totally ugly building.  The only cool thing about the situation is that the building used to be a gymnastics school.

We TOTALLY represented the Ville.

After the tour and a few (lots) sample beers, the Bandit decided to "owl" the place.  I'm pretty sure she hasn't fully grasped the concept of "owling" yet either.

Back in Chicago that night we checked out the Candye Gold show at Fitzgerald's (a famous live music joint). 

The band is a kind of a supergroup made up of members of many of the Chicago areas...oh hell, just read this:

So, guys from Wilco and drummer Bun E Carlos from Cheap Trick.  Sweet.  Check out what Bun E Carlos looks like now!  Click the pic to see a larger version.

He's kinda long in the tooth now.  It was quite a shock, but he still rocked it.  The girls also couldn't get over the weirdness of the lead singer guy-what with his super-skinny legs and "I think I'll just wear everything I have in my closet" look.  Overall, they were pretty good.  Definitely worth it.

The next day we high-tailed it to a brewery called Half-Acre that was releasing a one-time beer called Galactic Double Daisy Cutter.  On the way there we SAW A WOMAN WALKING A CAT ON A LEASH.  Shannon P almost peed her pants.

Anyhoo, we succeeded in scoring a bunch of bottles of Galactic Double Daisy Cutter.  It's awesome.

Susie Q (of Ultra Suede fame's) new band was playing that night, so we decided we needed some fries to fortify ourselves.  Okay, I decided we needed some fries, but when you're the one who makes the schedule you get to determine when you get fries.  We went to MAC's pub (which I have previously reviewed) and we were not disappointed. 

Several orders of fries (and beers) later, we met up with Susie to check out her new band called The Wanton Looks.  How come Susie still looks so good?  Dammit!  Notice the girls were still representing the ville.

The Wanton Looks were awesome (and really loud-guess I'm old now).

Susie is as rock star as ever.  Did I mention they went on at like 12:30PM?

GIBBY:  Ohhh!  A piano over here at the back of the bar!  I'll just take a look and maybe..

GIBBY:  Dammit!

The next morning we were feeling "groggy".  What's this?  BOTOMLESS MIMOSA and BLODYMARY?  Stupid chick can't spell, but we're down like four flat tires for some $7 all you can drink "groggy" cures!

GIBBY:  Hmmmm.  Elegant, floral bouquet with notes of honey, coriander, and *SLURP.  I need another!
WAITRESS:  Sweet Space Invaders shirt, pops.
GIBBY:  Are you the one who wrote the sign out front?
WAITRESS:  What?
GIBBY:  Never mind.

BANDIT and SHANNON P:  What Gibby said.  *SLURP.  We need another!

NINE mimosas (each) later, we headed to a street fair.  Amy and the Bandit were happy.

GIBBY:  Let's see...duck fat tater tots?  Yes please.

Super tasty, but not worth 6 bucks.  6 out of 10.

WHA?  Tempura dog?  Yes please.

Interesting, but stupid feelingness.  I feel I have brought dishonor to my family. 

どのような恥!

Let's see, curry fries?  YUM.  8 out of 10 cause they were only 3 bucks.  They were really only regular fries with curry sauce poured over them (like Canadian poutine) so I guess this is kinda trickery, but whatever.

The next day we decided to go to Wisconsin.  I could lie to you, but frankly we were feeling a little cheese-deficient, and Shannon P said she knew the perfect palace for us to get our curd on.  Did you see that?  I wrote "palace" instead of "place".  It's foreshadowing.  Wait for it, cause Shannon P drove us to the MARS CHEESE CASTLE! < trumpet fanfare>.

Whoa!  A whole castle full of cheese!  Too bad about the crappy Honda "chariot" though.  We loaded up on cheese and stuff (NO PICS INSIDE YOU FOREIGNERS!)

It was a great trip, but as we started piling up all the beer we bought we started to worry about space in the car.  The Bandit offered to ride in the trunk or owl on the roof the whole way back but we made it work.