King Burrito

Tons of people (three) have told me that King Burrito is the most awesome thing ever.  Normally burritos don't get me too excited, but yesterday I noticed that THEY HAVE FRIES so off we went.  It's on North College in the spot that used to be Foghorn's.

Amy noticed the hours for Saturday nights.  Looks like they're gonna to give the Taco Bell drunk/stoner crowd a nice new hangout.

They have totally changed the inside.  It's one of those order at the counter and pay and then they bring your food to your table kinda joints.  I never know whether I'm supposed to leave a tip on the table.  Also, it's not clear whether you're supposed to take your own dishes to the trash can like at a fast food place.  Anyone else have that problem?

Order of fries?  $1.99.  Good price, GREAT amount.  Bad everything else.  Zero flavor.  The Grunion wouldn't even eat one of them (he had cheese dip).

I know this is a burrito place, but I've said it 100 times: if you have fries on the menu (which is odd for a burrito place) I'm gonna rate you like everyone else.  2 out of 10.

However, this is their signature burrito.  IT IS MASSIVE and GOOD.

Here is my hand to show scale.  Skip the fries, eat the burrito.

Burger King's New "Satisfries"

So, here's the thing: Burger King's fries suck.  They have always sucked.  So it's super-funny to me that they are trying to improve their fry image by offering low-calorie fries.  Shouldn't they be working on taste?  My guess is that the more fat/calories something has, the better they will taste (butter).

BK is SO excited about these things that they are on the front page of their website. 

But check the small print:

They only have to be better than McDonald's, get it?  This is sad.  BK is basically acknowledging that their fries are nowhere near as good as McDs, so they're trying to get you to eat these by implying that they are somehow better for you.  BTW, the calorie/fat ratios are based on small orders of fries.  Who orders small fries?

I think the whole thing is absurd.  If you're eating fries, eat fries.  Don't kid yourself.  Anyway, I decided not to play BK's game and compare the low-calorie Satisfries with BK's regular fries.  Here they are side by side.  Notice the exquisite presentation?  Looks JUST LIKE the photo from their website, huh?

Closeup of the regular fries.

Closeup of the Satisfries.

There's a definite taste difference, but it's not noticeable enough to choose one over the other.  I guess that's a positive for the Satisfries since they have fewer calories.  But let's think about that.  It's 90 fewer calories for a large order.  90 calories.  Is it even worth it?  These fries are stupid, and BK's fries still suck.

GIBBY:  Which one do you like better?
GRUNION:  The regular ones dude.  Too much tapioca starch in the Satisfries.

Tapioca starch?  I'll be damned.

2 out of 10