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Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Inlet Harbor AKA Off the Hook REVISITED

Had a chance to sneak off with Amy a couple of weeks ago whilst on vacay in DYB.  And by "had a chance to sneak off" I mean we straight up dumped the Grunion on the grandparents and ran like rats to the newly, finally rebuilt after a not-so-recent hurricane Inlet Harbor.  I had been there before (warning: baby Grunion pics) and wanted to see if they were keeping it up with the new incarnation.

Ah.  So now it's called Off the Hook at Inlet Harbor.  Rolls off the tongue I guess...

The new patio is massive.  Lots more room for drunk retirees to slam bowel shredding frozen drinks and scream along with the guy playing jimmy buffet in the corner.

Naturally it was raining on accounta we were visiting so we sat inside.

Nicely appointed fishing/boating theme things everywhere.  I didn't mind it.  Not sure why this photo has the batman tv show angle.

They had cheese fries but I didn't order them.  I will next time.  This trip is all about the basics.

Basket of fries for 3 bucks at this kind of joint (tourist trap on the water) is a great deal.  Let's see how they turn out.


Hold the phone.

A decent amount of top of the line frozen skin-on foodservice fries with a light dusting of decent seasoning.

This is a total win. DO IT.

Monday, March 19, 2018

TGI Fridays Microwave Loaded Fries

First of all, I hate that I have to type "TGI Fridays".  What a stupid name.  Why didn't they just go with "TGIF" or "I hate my intestinal system"?  Anyhoo,  I saw these at the store and they were only $2.99 so I was like WTH.

I've tried these "crispy in the microwave" things before with mixed results, so I was skeptical.  This silver stuff is made from ground up space shuttle heat shields and is supposed to use the leftover rocket fuel soaked into them to help crisp the fries when your microwave shoots the little invisible nuclear death rays at them.  Seems dangerous but whatever.

Oh my.  So complicated.

What is all this?  Fake cheese sauce and a bag of crumbly stuff?  Seems like a lot of bang for the buck but is it too much work?


NO!  Not a sitting box!

***Gibby fights with kitty for 2 minutes and removes cat hair/spit from box***

Ok.  Smash the fries together between the two space shuttle heat shields and death nuke them for FOUR AND A HALF MINUTES?  Who has that kind of time?

Meanwhile I gotta melt the fake cheese sauce with hot water.  What a pain.

So after the nuking I tried a fry and they were actually kinda crisp.  Not bad either.  Dump on the fake cheese sauce and the crumbly stuff.....AND BACK IN THE MICRO FOR ANOTHER MINUTE?  Holy moly!

After a relative eternity this is what we yield.

The formerly semi-crisp fries were of course now kinda soggy from all that cheese and stuff.

But I have to say that they were okay.  Not amazing, but definitely worth the money.

It's interesting that they don't actually offer loaded cheese fries at the restaurants.  Maybe a shrewd maneuver to get people to buy these or maybe no one ever ordered them.  Either way if you see these on sale somewhere ($3.00 max) they are worth a try.

Kitty got the leftovers because he fought with honor.

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Morano's (with Throwback Jack)

Got a hot tip that there was a shindig with plenty of hullabaloo and moxie going down at Morano's last weekend.  Seems not only was the band Throwback Jack a metal/hair metal/80's/classic rock mashup cover band, but that Morano's also has fries.  Seemed like a perfect storm.

The guy who owns the joint is a sweet kid, so I was kinda nervous going in there on accounta it would suck to give him a bad review on the fries.  Inside this place is a classic.  Pool tables, big bar, lots of colorful regulars, and everyone was super-friendly.

Throwback Jack is a blast.  You should definitely check them out if you get a chance.  I think they play at Morano's a lot so there you go.

They have a "hype man" named Jinx (he's in the middle).  Very professional!

Fries delivered.  Hold up.

HUGE amount.  Crispy.  Hot.  Tasty.

10 out of 10.  The combination of these fries and this band is a total win.  In these trying times, it's nice to find a pocket of fun-ness in this world.  Go like the Morano's and Throwback Jack FB pages for me.


Monday, February 26, 2018

The Grotto in Eureka Springs

I am a fancy person.  I have fancy tastes, and I do fancy things.  Last month I went to Eureka Springs (fancy) and while I was there I went to The Grotto (fancy).  The place is primarily a wood-fired pizza joint (so trendy), but as with a growing number of pizza places they also have fries.  I despise pizza so you will see no discussion of it here.

The Grotto has been all kinds of stuff over the years.  In fact part of the building is/was a live music club that I can sort of remember from my youth.  The restaurant part is mostly underground and you have to walk down some treacherous stairs to get there.  Whoa!  Look at that table right there on the stairs!  Someone would actually sit at that table?  Not fancy!

It was Saturday night and we didn't have a reservation but the maĆ®tre de was cool and said we could have a table as long as we ghosted within an hour.  It was fun watching all the people come in after us and get denied a table in an otherwise empty restaurant on accounta the whole place was full with advance reservations.  Every single person left pissed.  Ha.

Fancy fries with fancy ketchup.

I wouldn't say that these miniature fry baskets are particularly fancy, but I let it slide cause the fries were REALLY GOOD.

Huge, crisp, fluffy.  And the Sriracha ketchup was on point.

So there you have it.  The Grotto = DO IT.

P.S.  There is another entrance where you don't have to walk down the stairs.

Friday, February 23, 2018

Taco Bell Nacho Fries

You've probably seen the commercials by now.  Taco Bell's new(ish) Nacho Fries promise a lot, so I jumped at the chance to try them last month.

I stopped at a super fancy looking TB outside of Tulsa.

  Hmm...$1 for fries sounds like a trap.

I got the regular ones and the "Nacho Fries Supreme" as well.  When in Rome...


The regular ones looked normal.  I couldn't tell if they were fried or cooked in one of those hot tornado air ovens though on accounta they weren't very crispy.  I called the Taco Bell later and the manager confirmed that they are indeed fried in oil.  Coulda fooled me.  They were meh.  And the nacho sauce tastes like foot sweat mixed with melted yellow crayons.

I only kinda picked at the supremes.  Gross as well.

I normally don't even bother anymore to write posts about joints where the fries suck, but I decided to do this one as a public service/warning.  DO NOT EAT TACO BELL FRIES.

They suck so bad they almost make me hate Taco Bell.

But not really.

Because that other stuff is so good.

I must have it.



Friday, October 20, 2017

Meatball Fail

One time in Florida I was at this Italian restaurant and I tried to eat this massive 1-pound meatball.

I failed.  Guess I'll stick with fries.

The End.

Monday, October 16, 2017

Mojo's Pints and Pies

When I was a young lad, there was a law in most states that prohibited pizza joints from having fries.  I think it was part of the same law that required all pizza places to have red checkered table cloths and crappy knives that can't actually cut pizza.  Also, there were no chicken wings allowed.

I'm pretty sure those laws are still in place, but it seems they are not being enforced anymore.  Behold Mojo's in Fayetteville.

Deck outside (too hot).

Big open room inside.

And fries on the menu!  Let's go.

 A word of caution.  When you order sauces they bring you roughly 40 ounces.  Very much.

Although the pizza at Mojo's is good, I must take a moment to recognize the wings.  They are fantastic.  In fact, I usually don't eat the pizza at all.  I just eat these wings.  REALLY good.  Try them.  Love them.

The Grunion usually sits under the table and steals wifi.  Pirate.

Okay, so $3.25 gets you this basket of fries.  Not a bad amount.

Fork for scale.

Super crispy, lightly-battered frozen variety.

Very nice.  Definitely worth a try, dear readers.

The Grunion decided that he had invented the best thing ever - Fry Pizza!

I didn't have the heart to tell him it's been done for centuries.  I just let him enjoy it.

Mojo's = DO IT!