Angus Jack

A new business called Angus Jack opened up today where the Rockin Chicken used to be on 412 in Springdale.  It seems to be kind of trendy to include in your signage that you have "fresh cut fries".

Other than the signage, the place looks exactly the same on the inside as when it was the Rockin Chicken.  And that is the only neutral/positive comment for this review.

First of all, an order of fries in $2.49.  I have been around the fry-block, and that is a bunch of dough for some fries at what is essentially a fast food joint.  Remember that I just used the term "fast food" cause it will be important later.  Okay, one order of fries and a medium drink, please.  Note the time on the receipt: 11:51.

If you make me do this at a restaurant, I hate you.  Especially if you are a burger joint.  JUST INVEST IN DAMN KETCHUP BOTTLES.  I hate trying to carry these stupid things, and they make a mes.

I took a picture of the booth to remind me to tell you that the seat was really sticky.  I know, I know, some cleaning products can leave vinyl feeling sticky, but it's still gross.  Not a strike, but close.

And then we waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

After about 20 minutes, we realized that the place was falling apart.  Orders were screwed up, they were taking WAY TOO LONG, people were complaining, etc.  It's kind of baffling considering they only have like 10 things on the menu and it wasn't really that busy.  The owner/manager eventually PARKED HIS CAR IN THE DRIVE THRU so people couldn't use it.  Great move.  Maybe the speaker was broken or something, but it seems like something you would have checked before you opened.

Dang, I only ordered fries.  How could they take this long?

I'm not exaggerating here.  At 12:32 pm, AFTER 41 MINUTES this is what was delivered to me.  Greasy, slimy, undercooked grossness.

Not sure what the little black stringy thing is there.

To call these things fries is as ridiculous as calling me a marathon runner.  I have sampled a good many fries in a great many places, and I can say without a doubt that these are absolutely the worst fries I have ever experienced.  I have never bitten into an abscess, but this particular fry here approximated the experience.

This is my buddy Jeff's face after trying the fries.

This is what I left on the table.  I (maybe) ate three of them.

Instead of giving this place a rating, I am instead going to issue a heartfelt plea to all of you to never, ever, under any circumstances eat the fries at Angus Jack.  As a matter of fact, stay away from the place altogether.  They suck, and they are not likely to get any better based on the way we saw the management fielding complaints from customers.  Normally I wouldn't even do a review for a place this bad (giving them publicity) but they are so bad this is really more of a public service announcement.  It should be illegal for this place to sell fries, much less brag about them with their signage.

The Bleu Monkey

The Bleu Monkey (yes, that's the way they spell it) in Springdale is one of those buildings that has been a bunch of different joints over the years.  I think when it originally opened it was called Armadillo Grill. 

Anyhoo, now it's called Bleu Monkey and it is straight up fancified.

All neon blue and stuff.

The fries are $1.95 and come wrapped in a package like a present!

Lightly battered.  Hard to tell if they are foodservice supplied, but they are GOOD.

Hot and crispy.  Could have used a little salt.

Overall, AWESOME.  10 out of 10.
Extra points for the weird rice pyramids.

The Burger Shack

Every so often, a cocky new fry kid comes to town. And they are usually at least semi-cautious with their fry bragging.  Not so with newcomers The Burger Shack on MLK in Fayetteville.  They are straight up smack talkin!  They mention their fries right on the sign!

 AND IN HUGE LETTERS ON THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING!

Oh it is SO on.

The inside looks like a beach bar.  Burger Shack.  Get it?

There's even a cabana-looking thing where the waiters make milkshakes.

What's with the thing where places are putting the potato boxes on display in the front of the restaurant these days?  5 Guys Burgers does this too.  Weird trend.

Whoa!  Free peanuts while you wait!  Sweet.  Unstrike one...

Their frying setup looked promising.  The baskets on the left were in some water (possibly brine), and it looked like there were two different fryers with two different temperatures of oil.

$2.49 for a "medium" paper boat of fries.  Too many to count, but definitely a strike for price vs. quantity.

The upside: GOOD!  Crisp on the outside and fluffy on the inside.

There was a seasoning on them, but we couldn't make out what it was.

To be fair, their bold signage mentions that the fries are fresh cut.  That is true.  I'll give them that.  If their signs said "Fresh Cut GOOD Fries" I would agree.  If their signs said "Fresh Cut GREAT Fries" I would disagree.

8 out of 10.

P.S.    I put like 60 peanuts in my pockets while I was waiting.
P.P.S. Amy said their milkshakes are really good but I don't care about milkshakes.

Nomad's Natural Plate Food Truck

I have long since lost my ability to remain functionally appropriate after a few beers, and I like to avoid making a fool of myself in public.  For this reason, I rarely go out on Dickson Street (the main bar section of Fayetteville for those of you who don't know) any more unless it's a special occasion.  This past Saturday was a special occasion (a reunion show by the Paper Hearts), so I was down on Dickson with the Bandit.

On our way home, the Bandit demanded food from the Nomad's food truck.  I was in no condition to interact with strangers.

NOMAD's GUY: Hi, what can I get you?
GIBBY:  It's....it's..prime time penguins....snarlffffttt!
NOMAD's GUY: Whoa.

The Bandit quickly stepped in to interpret.
BANDIT:  He says he wants fries.  Do you have fries?
NOMAD's GUY:  Yes.  We have pita fries and regular fries.
BANDIT:  Which fries do you want, Gibby?
GIBBY: Yaaawwwr!  I saw something!  Review!  Review!
BANDIT:  Just give us an order of both.  And a falafel (I didn't agree to the falafel).

Both the pita fries and the regular fries were 3 bucks.  Kinda steep.  The kid put everything in one box, which depressed me since I knew the fry count would be low.

The pita fries were interesting.  Pita bread chopped into funny shapes and deep fried.  Kinda meh, but the tzatziki sauce made them okay (not great).

The regular fries were quite good.  They are basically the same fries you get at the local Greek joint.  Since they aren't technically potatoes I won't give them a score.  Good seasoning.  Outta the freezer bag, but hot and tasty.  Amount was bad for 3 bucks though.  7 out of 10.

The Bandit ate the falafel.  She said it was good, but she's a vegetarian so what does she know?

The Burger Patti

RudiTodd from luvmetenders fame hipped me to this new joint on the West side of Fayettenam.  It used to be an insurance office or something, but now it's a burger place.  Ugly.

Big Roy and I walked in and were immediately flummoxed by the lack of space (editors note: big men get nervous in confined spaces).  To say that The Burger Patti is tiny is an insult to tiny, cause tiny is bigger than this.  Here is the (total) seating area.  BTW the picture is not blurry, that guy was actually a blurry person.

The counter where you order is at most 4 feet from the front door.  Notice the drink machine precariously perched on the counter? 

And this is what you see directly behind the order counter.  Not pretty.

I was pleasantly surprised to see actual potatoes back there, though.  Let's hope he knows how to cook em.

Big Roy and I ordered the standard burger/fries/drink combo, but when I asked for an extra order of fries for evaluation the little chippy behind the counter smirked.
CHIPPY:  The combo comes with fries.
GIBBY:  I know.  I want an extra order of fries.
CHIPPY:  That's a lot of fries...I mean...you probably aren't going to be able to finish them.
GIBBY:  Huh huh......Ha Ha....HA HA....HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...*Cough  *Cough
*Chippy starts backing away scared
BIG ROY:  Pardon my friend.  He's been on extended bivouac with the 463rd battalion regiment foxtrot company and hasn't had anything but MREs for 6 months.  He's extremely hungry.

15 mintues later, we got this.  The salt shaker is to show scale.  Too many fries to count, but a good amount for the $1.95 they cost.

Freshly fried, skin-on fries that seemed to be double cooked.  Perfect.

I'd like to note that the amount of fries we got WITH the burger was about a third of the full order, making the Chippy SO INCREDIBLY WRONG about what constitutes "a lot of fries".  Anyhoo, here's the burger, blah, blah, blah, this is not a burger blog.

Even though the only pretty thing at The Burger Patti is the fry-delusional Chippy, Big Roy (and I) both give the fries a 10 out of 10.  Rare for fresh cut fries.

Mr. Dunderbak's in Daytona Beach

It's not often that a joint is a home run on all fronts.  It's even less often that a chain joint is a home run.  Even less oftener-ish is when said chain joint is located in a mall.  In spite of what would seem to be a recipe for total Solanum Tuberosum disappointment, Mr. Dunderbak's is THE BEST PLACE EVER!

Located in the Volusia County Mall in Daytona Beach, FL, Mr. Dunderbak's has been operating under the same family ownership since 1975 (I got that from their website, but we know it's true cause the original owner's son and now current owner waited on us).  He was super-cool.  BTW, there are Mr. Dunderbak's(s) all over the country.  Google it.

Anyhoo, Mr. Dunderbak's is this uber-weird concept.  It's a restaurant, bar, German stuff store, premium beer/wine store, and delicatessen (which includes fresh sausage, cheeses, desserts, and more).  It's a bit visually confusing.  We were there at like 2 o'clock on a Tuesday, so the only people there were old folks and college kids.

The place is jam-packed with stuff.  Here you can see the bottles of super-fancy beer piled on the bar that you can buy and take home.  They also have like 40 beers on tap.  Crazy!

German style food?  Check!  We got the sausage sampler:

The Jager Schnizel:

And the Reuben.  Awesome.

I was enjoying a tasty Hacker Pschorr Oktoberfest when these came to the table.  $2.59 for 46 steaming-hot, savory fries that overflowed from the boat onto the plate (I love that).

The batter was clearly beer-related, and the seasoning had hints of curry, pepper, allspice, and cayenne.

Exquisite!  10 out of 10!

GRUNION:  Yo pops, these fries are great but I think you should let me out of this kid seat so I can do some shopping.
GIBBY:  By "shopping" do you mean running around and knocking stuff over?

GRUNION:  A little bit.
GIBBY: Then, no.

GRUNION:  Cool.  I'll just throw the king of all hissy fits here in the chair.  All those retired Germans at the next table will probably love it.
GIBBY:  Okay, go knock stuff over.

If heaven is like a mall, Mr. Dunderbak's better be what the section for people who like beer and fries is like.