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Thursday, December 27, 2018

Dave & Busters

About 30 years ago there was a strange revolution in the suburbs of a lot of American cities.  For whatever reason the downtowns were all nasty and crime-ridden and the middle class was mad they didn't have anywhere to PARTY.  So weird businesses started popping up.  Like Bennigan's and TGIF, and Chili's.  Places that were ostensibly family restaurants, but were really for people to get hammered and hook up.  To this end, each one of those places had a "bar".  It was silly.  The bar was sometimes 1/20th of the floor space of the rest of the joint but that's where rowdy middle classers were pounding down daiquiris and margaritas. 

Out of this weirdness came Dave & Busters.  At some point two dudes on Dallas were like "let's get the middle classers hammered and then let them play a bunch of video games!"  What a country.

The Grunion got invited to a birthday party for his buddy Gus at the Rogers D&B and I went cause I wanted to see what was up.  Also, completely unrelated to this, the people hosting the party told me that they would be serving french fries.

This D&B has the largest bar I have ever seen in Northwest Arkansas.  I'm not kidding.  It's like 15 yards long on the big sides.  Insane!  And there are like 30 huge tvs above the bar.  Overload.

Imagine the sensory overload of a casino and you get the idea.  I can't image what a nightmare this place must be on a weekend night.  I hope I never find out.  The Grunion immediately won a something (no idea) from the claw machine and was overwhelmed with joy.

Then the D&B staff people filled these big banquet chafing dishes... 

and I was overwhelmed with joy.

Sweet googly moogly!  That's a lot of fries!  And chicken tendies too!

Host dad Bryan tested them.  He approved.  And approved.  And approved.  Seriously he probably ate like 1/3 of the total pan by himself.  Who eats that many fries man?

They also had a huge amount of these trick burgers they call "sliders" hoping you don't figure out that they're just tiny hamburgers for suckers and kids.  I ate 12.

I gotta say that the fries were solid.  I can't assign a cost to serving ration because we would have to take what they paid for the party and divide it by how many people were there and what percentage of the total package the fries constituted, etc.  Anyway host Bryan and I pretty much split the whole pan of fries anyway so it doesn't matter.  DO IT?

Monday, December 24, 2018

Bentonville Downtown is LIT

I used to work in Bville back when the downtown was non-existent.  I haven't worked in Bville for a long time so I hadn't been to the downtown area for about 10 years until recently when I went there to see my bros in HONEYJACK do a show.  Lots of stuff down there now and a good portion of them have fries so.....

The HoneyJack boyz were loading in and sound checking (making annoying noises, saying "one two, one two" over and over again, etc.) so I slid on over to Oven & Tap to check out their offerings.  I was alone which always makes me feel like a creep so I sat at the bar.

The place looks like every bar/restaurant in Dallas from 1998. I know this is a weird shot, but everyone in the main dining room was looking at me like a creep so this is all you get.

Good beer selection.  I suggest the Bell's Two Hearted Ale.

Hmmm.  Salt and Vinegar Potatoes roasted in the 800 degree wood fired oven.

I know what you're thinking:
YOU: "Gibby!  Those aren't fries!  They're oven baked!"
GIBBY:  "Yeah, but-
YOU:  "You always complain about stuff like sweet potato fries and onion rings and stuff like that not being 'real' fries and here you are eating this baked stuff!"
GIBBY:  "Yeah but-
YOU:  "That's it!  I'm never reading your piece of crap hypocrite blog again!  You're just like all the other french fry bloggers out there-you talk a big game but when it comes to-"
GIBBY:  *I hang up

Man you guys are brutal.  Anyhoo, this is what was delivered.


I'll tell ya that 800 degrees puts a fry-like hurt on those potatoes.  So good.

Fluffy inside.  And the combo of the slightly caramelized skin mixed with the salt and vinegar was awesome.  The Two Hearted Ale is also a perfect pairing I might add.

Six bucks for these is a joke.  The pics don't really show the actual volume of this serving.  This much would easily feed 4 people.  In fact I took 3/4 of them back to the HoneyJack boys and they wolfed em down.  DO IT X 100.

I was feeling pretty good about Bville at this point so I decided to try out this fish place that was within smelling distance of the club called Flying Fish.

It's a chain based out of TX with like 11 locations that all have this kitschy kind of old school diner vibe.  Fits right in with downtown Bville.

Yo fries are kinda steep in this joint.  They must be awesome!  And why are there so many hyphens in "corn on the cob"?

Hmm.  Straight out the freezer bag.  Cooked okay.

But no flavor.  Usually at a fish fry place they used the same oil for everything and the fries soak up some of the flavors.  Not so here.  I ate like 5 and packed them up and gave them to the HoneyJack boys as well.  I should have tried these before the Oven & Tap ones.

It was almost showtime but my buddies Sluggo and Jen told me I absolutely HAD TO try the fries at the Pressroom.  So off we went.

Oh great.  Did everyone in Bville use the same architect/designer?  Dallas 1998 again.  Okay I guess.

The first strike was that they were out of Bell's Two Hearted Ale.  Boo.  The second strike is that someone in the kitchen accidentally dropped a pickle or something into the fancy-schmancy water bottle that was brought to our table.  I complained to the waitress and she was all like "it's supposed to be there" and I was like "nuh uh!".

Sluggo and Jen calmed me down by telling me that indeed people in Bville like weird stuff floating in their water.  It takes all kinds I guess.

The fries there are called "frites" and they're $4.00.  They come with some fancy aioli.  Looked pretty good.

Tasted really good.   Skin-on with lots of depth to the flavor.  By the way, have I ever mentioned that fresh, chilled ketchup makes a HUGE difference?  Note to all you restaurant owners out there.

Totally NOM.  DO IT.

I gotta say if you're looking for some fries and you live in Bville, you are in luck.  I was pretty fat and happy while the boys played.

Actually, I'm fat and happy all the time.

Thursday, December 20, 2018

The Funky Pelican

Last week someone emailed me that this joint in Flagler Beach Florida had some kick butt fries so I figured I'd slide down there to try em.  All the flights were booked so I chartered a plane.  I will spare no expense for some supposedly good fries y'all.

These piers that have a restaurant/tourist trap attached to them are like blades of grass in FL.  Seriously there's like one every 2 or 3 miles.  But this one is owned by the same folks that run Crabby Joe's so I figured they'd be okay.

Right off the bat I was sad on accounta the hostess was in a rotten mood and didn't like me.  Oh well.  Amy ordered the biggest bloody mary ever.  Fork for scale.

View was okay.

French Fries were listed as a "side".  Strike one.  And why $2.63?  Such a random price....

I always think it's funny when they bring fries in a bowl.  So classy.

Good amount.

Crispy, hot, tasty!

All told a great set of fries at a decent price.  DO IT.

Left my mark on their chalkboard out front.

P.S.  Can anyone spot me $26,000 to pay for the plane charter?  I'll get you back I promise.

Monday, July 16, 2018

White Rock Ale House TATER KEGS

Dallas is a super-tiny city, so I was surprised to find a local brewpub via online search that served fries on a recent trip.  And not only fries, but TATER KEGS.  The White Rock Ale House is in.....wait for it....the White Rock area of Dallas.  Never saw any white rocks, but whatevs.

It was 115 degrees and the hostess asked me if I wanted to sit outside.  I declined.  The back patio looked fun though.  Probably okay in January.

Cool inside.  Open, spacious, etc.

Tater Kegs?  Ah yeah.

Boom.  I honestly thought they would be bigger, but they were big enough.

I arranged them into a pyramid cause I think that looks better.

Crispy outside, fluffy goodness inside.


The price is kinda steep, but I figure they are making them in-house so it's okay.  The crab ones were filled with crab.  I don't like crab.  Everyone else said they were good.  I also ordered regular fries (naturally).

Really good.  Top notch and a lot of em for only $4.

The Grunion got red velvet cake and wanted to do a review.

GRUNION:  Okay, so this is red *chomp

GRUNION:  Mmmmphh….red vel....*chomp

GIBBY:  Yo, you need to stop eating eat and tell me about it.
GRUNION:  It's sooooo good....mmmmpph….*chomp

The Grunion ate half of the cake and then fell into an insulin shock coma right at the table.  Props to the joint for having napkins big enough for him to use as a blanket.

White Rock Ale House = DO IT.

Friday, July 13, 2018


Today is the day!  The one day a year that all the good children find fresh fries in their shoes when they wake up in the morning (provided they pre-filled them with ketchup the night before).  Did you get your fries?

Today is also the one day a year that your body will not process the calories from fries!  You can eat all the fries you want until 11:59pm and NO CALORIES!

Enjoy your day!  I will be.

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Big Orange

The best time to eat a giant plate of piping hot fried potatoes is when it's 99 degrees outside.  Since I know that, I went to Big Orange this past week.  There are 3 of these joints around Arkansas and apparently the name has something to do with.....I don't know actually on accounta it doesn't say anywhere on their menu or in the restaurant or online.  I also messaged them but they didn't respond in time.  Oh well.  Maybe this Arkansas guy is a big Texas or Tennessee fan.  Dunno.

The one in Rogers, AR is in a fancy outdoor-style mall.  Nice front.

Well, it's not completely orange in here but ok.

This place is fancy.  Real flowers on the table in real water!

Truffle Garlic and Herbs?  Healthy!

Got this giant hubcap full of chips with cheese dip while we waited.  It was good.  Not amazing, but good.  BTW we opted for the "House Chips" instead of tortilla chips.  This is what they call "Arkansas Style".  Don't know how to react to that.

Fries delivered and they look good.  $5.75 is a decent price for this amount and they were really good.

Tons of truffle oil on these babies.  They did not skimp.

And I noticed 2 things.  The first is that normally the house cut fries that are undercooked and soggy are nasty but these soaked up so much truffle oil that the soggy ones were actually amazing.

The second thing was that they didn't sully the fries with a ton of cheap parmesan cheese like most other places do with their truffle fries.

They also came with this super-tasty dipping stuff.  Not sure what it was, but it was good and it really accentuated the truffle taste.

Big Orange Fries = Really good.  DO IT.

P.S. My friend Jack ordered a turkey burger and didn't even eat the bun so I called him a communist and made him walk home.