For the Love of Pete JUST STOP!

I feel like the fast food corporate idea monsters are seeing my posts and creating more of these terrible things just to torture me at this point.  The latest abomination comes once again courtesy of the BK Lounge-Bacon Cheesy Tots.  This is what BK says they look like:

These boxes give me nightmares now.

Oh I see.  Little chunks of the stuff you use to batter the chicken nuggets.

Except you put a microscopic amount of the shredded cheese and bacon bits that fell off the prep counter onto the floor that have been swept up.

Even if these were made better, I can't see a fair amount of anything inside these.  You would be better off eating the two dollar bills that these cost.

Tastes like depression.

DO NOT DO.

Daytona Beach Revisited II

I've pretty much eaten fries at every place in Daytona Beach at this point, but I was able to create some newish experiences on this last trip.   I have been to Hidden Treasure Rum Bar & Grill several times and I have no idea why I have never done the fries there.  I was sure that I had but apparently not.  I was so sure I had done a review there that I didn't take that many pictures so all you get is this:

Good fries, okay amount, and the prices was decent considering you are sitting on the water.  I got kinda bored and decided to the leftover appetizers to create a unique new menu item for the joint.  I used the bread bowl from the buffalo chicken dip, some boneless wings, and the leftover fries to create what I call THE TODDLER'S DREAM.  I am a genius.  The waitress was not impressed.

Next we revisited the Daytona Taproom.  Still amazing.  This place is a must go if you are ever in DYB.  Sorry the picture is blurry.  I was shaking with excitement.

The burger I got was DEEP FRIED.  Unbelievable.

Still DO IT.

My parents wanted to take us to a fancy schmancy joint one night so off we went to the Chart House.  Heh.  Sounds like Shart House.  It's a chain, but fancy.

This place is part of a big marina with lotsa boats so the decor is nautical.  Kinda looks like a cruise ship dining room.

The place reeked of rope.  The manager told me that indeed they had just replaced all the rope the week before.  Lucky us.

Whoa...fancy!

My folks like this place on accounta its got a huge salad bar which also has caviar.  I tried it.  It was ok.  Got me thinkin there are probably caviar fries somewhere (probably Russia).  Gross.

Chachie ate A CRAPLOAD of caviar while drinking a pina colada like a boss.  He said the pina coladas there were good and I think he drank three.

I got fish and chips, cause I didn't want to seem unfancy and order a side order.  They gave me a ton of fries though.  The picture doesn't really do the amount justice.

Frozen, but cooked perfectly and attended to nicely with garlic, parsley, and a smidgen of clarified butter.  Nice.

$22 for the salad bar and the fish and chips.  I'd say worth it overall.  Plus it was only 900 calories so I probably lost 2 or 3 pounds while we were there!

Grunion vs. BK Funnel Cake Fries

The Grunion has eyes like an eagle and the memory of an elephant savant.  He was seeing signs all the way to Daytona Beach advertising Burger King's newest failure - Funnel Cake Fries.  Normally I wouldn't even bother with this kind of nonsense (not potato-based) but the Grunion was relentless.  I told him in the car that he could try them "at some point when we got to DYB".  He remembered I said that like 6 days later.

So here is the box. 

And here are the disgusting contents.

GRUNION:  "Okay so they're kinda squishy"

GRUNION:  "They're kinda like french toast or something."

GRUNION:  "Smells funny.  Maybe they have honey on them or something?"

GRUNION:  "I guess they're not that good.  But I'll eat them all anyway.

GRUNION:  "Dad?"

GIBBY:  "Yes?"
GRUNION:  "When's dinner?"

BK Funnel Cake Fries = DON'T DO IT

Taco Bell Rattlesnake Fries

*Sigh.

Here we go again.  So far the fast food fancy fries offerings have been dismal, and I can't help but think in the case of Taco Bell the reason we keep seeing new "specialty" fry offerings is because some long-since fired employee at Taco Bell corporate ordered 50 million metric tons of fries a few years ago and now they need to get rid of them.

The latest ones are called "Rattlesnake Steak Fries".  Here's what the TB website shows they are supposed to look like.

Kind of a crappy picture, but what do they care.  They're just trying to get rid of them.  For some reason I got a CVS-sized receipt when I ordered them.  Seriously....it was as long as my arm.  Spork for scale.

So here's what they look like in real life.  $3.34 for this.  Unbelievable.

Remember the spork from before?  TB only has these stupid spork things so trying to get a decent stab was pointless.  And I wasn't about to expose my hand skin to those chemicals.

The steak was surprisingly tender, which I suspect is the result of sitting in tepid dishwater for 18-20 hours prior to being tossed onto this mess. 

The cheese sauce is the sauce they use on the tacos, etc. which means it's basically can cheese.

And the fries are...well...you already know.  Soggy, stupid, and depressed.  Also 1 or 2 of them were orange.  Why?

This is another epic fail.  What an embarrassment.  DO NOT DO THIS.

P.S. Wilson Phillips was playing the whole time I was there which is always depressing.  It wasn't even one of their good albums.