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Thursday, October 20, 2011

Feltner's New Location

One of the very first reviews I did was of Feltner's.  They recently opened a new location on North College, and I went there to see if they were keeping it real.

In short, they are.  Check out these cool video screens that look like old school peg boards.

The dining area is very German-lots of metal and wood.

The Feltner boys were on hand that day to make sure everything was cool.

Great burger, good fries.  They are definitely rockin it.

Jack gives the forks a 7.

Feltner's North College.  Do it.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Springfield Oktoberfest Freude

A couple of weeks ago we went to Springfield to attend "the second largest Oktoberfest celebration in Missouri".  The website and related Facebook page spoke of wonderful knockwurst, bratwurst, schnitzel, pretzels, beer, traditional German events, games, music and the like.  We were pretty excited.  In fact, I was so excited I commissioned MeMaw Allred to make me some lederhosen so I could be properly attired.  We arrived at the Estes ranch just in time to see the bar Rusty was in the process of building for his pack of dogs.  Seriously.  Rusty built a bar on his farm for his dogs.  Or maybe it's for people, but it was certainly full of dogs that night.  I'm just sayin, you gotta attract the right kind of crowd from the beginning or else your bar gets stereotyped...

The goats next door to the dog bar were jealous, as they have been asking for a salad bar for months.

RUSTY:  Hey, let's go on a driving tour of the farm.
BANDIT:  We can't all fit in your appropriately equipped farm truck, Rusty!
RUSTY:  No worries!  We'll just take your jeep.  What could happen?
5 minutes into the farm tour:

While he was taking a break from changing the tire, Rusty told Amy about all the bear and mountain lion maulings that had taken place in the area over the last few months.  Amy decided to wait in the jeep after that.

We spent the rest of the evening getting warmed up for Oktoberfest by drinking American beers we found at the store with the words "Oktoberfest" on the label.  The next day, I was so excited to show off my lederhosen and be with all the rest of my lederhosen brethren.  We got there WAS THE ONLY PERSON WEARING LEDERHOSEN.  DAMMIT!

Unless you count the ACTUAL GERMAN DOCTOR on loan to the local hospital who happened to bring his lederhosen with him cause someone told him there was an Oktoberfest while he was visiting.  Also, all the actual German food was gone since there were only "samples" and all the "early birds" (old people who got there at 7a.m.) ate it all.  DAMMIT II!

The only good thing about the event was that people kept stopping me to take their picture with me.  I pretended they were laughing "with" me.

The Bandit had a sweet backup plan to go to the nearby Mother's Brewery tasting room.

We "tasted" a bunch of good stuff while I asked everyone over and over if I looked stupid. They all kept saying I didn't look stupid, but I could see in their eyes that they were lying....

The Grunion Reviews Applebee's

As a general rule, I don't go to Applebee's.  Mostly cause years ago I ordered something they had called "Riblets" which were disgusting and made me sick.  But recently my uncle sent me an Applebee's gift card, and a free meal is hard to turn down even if it makes you sick.  I decided to let the Grunion review the fries. He had a bad attitude about it.

GRUNION:  Hmmm.  Looks like a happenin place with the walker crowd.

GRUNION:  Let's see what's on the menu.

GRUNION:  Everything has a cutesy name.  Forget that crap.  I want a platter of fried stuff.  Make it happen fat man!

About 20 minutes later...

GRUNION:  Ah....brooding....subtle notes of vinegar and canola....

GRUNION:  Uh oh....


GRUNION:  Whew!  Glad that wasn't barf!  I'll give em a 5 out of 10 cause they're stupid and Snoopy doesn't like them.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

The Grunion's 2nd Birthday

Hard to believe we've been able to keep the Grunion alive for 2 years. I think the original point of birthday parties for kids under like 5 years old was so that other adults could give the parents of the birthday kid acknowledgement for not forgetting to feed the kid.  And I have no illusions about the fact that Amy is the one who has kept the Grunion so healthy and happy (I forgot to feed him dinner as recently as this week).  That's probably why athletes always say "Hi Mom" to the camera after they score-they have this innate knowledge that their Mom is who kept them alive all those years.

Anyhoo, we had a small get together for the Grunion.  All the usual suspects were there. Since the Grunion now worships Thomas the Tank Engine, the decor was appropriately so.

The Grunion CLEANED UP in the gift department.  He got stuff from MeMaw and PaPaw, Aunties Sissy, Patty, and Donna, Uncle Kenny, Aunt Cindy and Uncle Tom, Auntie Kathryn and Uncle Brad, Mark and Cindy, Cousin Lisa and Chachie, and the Bandit.  Z even got caught up in the moment and viciously attacked some of the presents.

All told, the Grunion got somewhere in the neighborhood of 6,592 presents.  Shocking.  Back when I was his age, I got a twig tied with a string to the leg of a Luke Skywalker action figure.  Kids these days have it so easy.  The Grunion is lucky to have such a wonderful family.

By the way, I'd like to note the difference between a one year old and a two year old's approach to cake.  Two year old:

One year old:

Oh, and some of you may remember the Barbie jeep the Grunion inherited from Laura J:

About a month ago, we noticed the Barbie jeep was missing from the garage.  When we asked Chachie about it, he said "I'm doing some experiments on it"  and added ominously (think mob guy) "don't worry about it."  We decided not to worry about it since Chachie knows how to work power tools without hurting himself.

Anyway, yesterday Chachie pulls up with the Barbie jeep in the back of his truck TRANSFORMED INTO A SUPER-COOL RAZORBACK JEEP.

I know what you're thinking.  "Gibby, that jeep is okay, but does it go TWICE AS FAST as it did before Chachie souped it up?"

Yes it does.

You're also probably thinking "yeah but does it now have functional headlights, taillights, AND FLOODLIGHTS?"

Yes it does.

And of course it goes without saying that each of the lights should be controlled with a separate switch on the dashboard THAT LIGHTS UP AS WELL.

You see my friends, Chachie is like the Honey Badger when it comes to "projects".  He doesn't care about limits like stupid electrical problems or how hard it is to paint plastic or how hard it is to find a Razorback license plate that fits a Barbie jeep.  He just gets it done (and I'm pretty sure he bites inanimate objects too).  As Chachie's brother once told me, "that Chachie is as handy as a pocket on a shirt."  Indeed.  As handy as a pocket on a shirt.  And twice as bad ass.

GRUNION:  Yo Z!  This thing kicks!  Jump in and let's blow this chicken coop!

Z:  Punch it!

Z:  Head for the street!  Follow Jenkins, he knows the way!

PARENTS:  Come back here!
GRUNION and Z:  Muhuhahaha!  See ya, suckers!

GRUNION:  We'll never forget you Jenkins!
JENKINS:  Whatever.

Z:  Grunion?


Z:  Will we really make it to Yo Gabba Gabba Land?
GRUNION:  I don't know, Z.  But we're sure gonna try.  We're sure gonna try.

Editor's Notes:   
1.  Cousin Lisa gets the assist as a technical advisor on the Razorback jeep.
2. Chachie apologized that he wasn't able to create an ignition system with an actual key and that the horn that plays the Razorback fight song "wasn't ready yet."
3.  The Grunion and Z were last spotted on the 540 South on ramp.