A couple of weeks ago we went to Springfield to attend "the second largest Oktoberfest celebration in Missouri". The website and related Facebook page spoke of wonderful knockwurst, bratwurst, schnitzel, pretzels, beer, traditional German events, games, music and the like. We were pretty excited. In fact, I was so excited I commissioned MeMaw Allred to make me some lederhosen so I could be properly attired. We arrived at the Estes ranch just in time to see the bar Rusty was in the process of building for his pack of dogs. Seriously. Rusty built a bar on his farm for his dogs. Or maybe it's for people, but it was certainly full of dogs that night. I'm just sayin, you gotta attract the right kind of crowd from the beginning or else your bar gets stereotyped...
The goats next door to the dog bar were jealous, as they have been asking for a salad bar for months.
RUSTY: Hey, let's go on a driving tour of the farm.
BANDIT: We can't all fit in your appropriately equipped farm truck, Rusty!
RUSTY: No worries! We'll just take your jeep. What could happen?
5 minutes into the farm tour:
While he was taking a break from changing the tire, Rusty told Amy about all the bear and mountain lion maulings that had taken place in the area over the last few months. Amy decided to wait in the jeep after that.
We spent the rest of the evening getting warmed up for Oktoberfest by drinking American beers we found at the store with the words "Oktoberfest" on the label. The next day, I was so excited to show off my lederhosen and be with all the rest of my lederhosen brethren. We got there and........um........I WAS THE ONLY PERSON WEARING LEDERHOSEN. DAMMIT!
Unless you count the ACTUAL GERMAN DOCTOR on loan to the local hospital who happened to bring his lederhosen with him cause someone told him there was an Oktoberfest while he was visiting. Also, all the actual German food was gone since there were only "samples" and all the "early birds" (old people who got there at 7a.m.) ate it all. DAMMIT II!
The only good thing about the event was that people kept stopping me to take their picture with me. I pretended they were laughing "with" me.
The Bandit had a sweet backup plan to go to the nearby Mother's Brewery tasting room.
We "tasted" a bunch of good stuff while I asked everyone over and over if I looked stupid. They all kept saying I didn't look stupid, but I could see in their eyes that they were lying....