Ballard's on Block Island

When you visit Rhode Island, part of the agreement you sign when you cross the border is that you will ride the ferry to Block Island at least once during your stay.  I have no idea why this rule is in place, but I suspect it has to do with justifying the electricity that Block Island uses.  At least the Grunion was super-excited to ride on the ferry.

GRUNION: So there's dolphins and whales and sharks and stuff in this water?
GIBBY: Yuppers.

GRUNION:  Can we catch one of the sharks and one of the dolphins?
GIBBY:  Why?

GRUNION:  So we can watch them fight.  I heard that dolphins can whip up on sharks.
GIBBY:  Okay, that's not-

GRUNION:  Or maybe we could get a whale to swallow us so we could hang out inside.
GIBBY:  You are so weird.

This is the side of Block Island you see when you're pulling up.  Nice.  Not thrilling, but nice.

Ballard's was established in 1952 by the late Paul Filippi, Sr....blah blah blah. 

Whoa.  Kinda dead for lunchtime.

Beach view-check.  Appropriately over-priced($4.95) fries-check.  Let's do this!

Not bad looking.

Not bad looking at all.

Real potato skins still attached, crisp and hot with a fluffy interior.  And sea salt.  A nice touch.

I gotta say, in this setting, these fries are totally worth it.  9 out of 10.

The beach at Ballard's totally sucks, though.

Smart Fries!

Scientists have been searching for a super-drug to make people smarter for centuries.  There have been countless examples of chemicals, plants, herbs, spices, foods, devices, techniques, and diets that are supposed to make you smarter.

They have all been foolish tragedies.

On a recent trip to Rhode Island, I discovered the secret to unlimited smartness:
SMART FRIES

Who would have guessed that for just two dollars paid at the dirtiest discount store I have ever seen I could gain so much?  And look at all these benefits!

 

Let's have a look in the bag.  That's a crapload for two dollars!

Hmmm.

Strange disease-like texture.  Warts?  Well, they never said self-improvement was easy.

They taste really bad.  Like, disgusting bad.  But maybe my yet-unevolved brain doesn't recognize the taste as good yet.  Maybe after I eat the whole bag my smartness will make me understand that the disgusting texture and gross taste is the embodiment of total intellectual enlightenment.

I ate the whole bag and waited.  I wonder how long it will take until I'm smart.