They have all been foolish tragedies.
On a recent trip to Rhode Island, I discovered the secret to unlimited smartness:
Who would have guessed that for just two dollars paid at the dirtiest discount store I have ever seen I could gain so much? And look at all these benefits!
Let's have a look in the bag. That's a crapload for two dollars!
Strange disease-like texture. Warts? Well, they never said self-improvement was easy.
They taste really bad. Like, disgusting bad. But maybe my yet-unevolved brain doesn't recognize the taste as good yet. Maybe after I eat the whole bag my smartness will make me understand that the disgusting texture and gross taste is the embodiment of total intellectual enlightenment.
I ate the whole bag and waited. I wonder how long it will take until I'm smart.