Elvis Did What?

Every once in a while (decade) I get a hankerin?  hankern?  hank'rn? for something other than fries.  And it's usually something really weird.  Read a story recently about a fairly known Elvis action that got me thinkin about a giant sandwich called the "Fool's Gold" that was made by a no longer existent restaurant in Denver called "Colorado Mine Company" (stupid name for a restaurant).

You can google "Fool's Gold Loaf" if you want all the details but the short version is that Elvis wanted this sandwich one night during a party at his cottage in Memphis so he flew his private plane (along with the party goers) to Denver to get it.  The 2 things that disturb me about this whole affair are chiefly what the sandwich is (you'll see in a bit) and that the dang thing cost $49.95 in 1976!  That would be like $250 today.  Idiotic!

Sooooo...the sandwich is a giant loaf of bread, a whole jar of peanut butter, a whole jar of blueberry jelly, and ONE WHOLE POUND OF BACON.  If you're thinking that sounds disgusting, you're right.  For some reason I accidentally grabbed sugar free blueberry jelly when I was buying the stuff so sue me.  Also I used 2 pounds of bacon on accounta 1 pound didn't really look like enough.

First you hollow out one side of the loaf and toast it lightly.

Then you add the jelly.

Then the PB.

Finish with a 2-pound sprinkling of bacon.

All done!  Holy cow.  Ruler and obligatory fork for scale.

The Grunion was amused/disgusted (mostly cause he doesn't like jelly and how dare I ruin a perfectly nice snack with that crap).

 I served it to my brunch guests with a single dried out baby carrot.

And 500 napkins.  Because this thing makes a huge freakin mess.  Oh and a Diet Coke to counter the calories.  Hey who ate the carrot?

They say Elvis ate this by himself.  I shudder to think about how much speed/cocaine/assorted pills/monster energy drink it would take for someone to be able to eat this whole thing.

It is gross on a level that is hard to describe.  The torrent of sugar makes your teeth grit and grind.  9,000 calories of sheer disgustingness.  One of my test tasters ate a slice of it and vomited in my yard about 15 minutes later.  The stomachache I got from it was formidable and lasted 2 hours.

Do not eat this sandwich.  Even with fries.