Poconos Potatoes Promoted

If you're ever driving through the Poconos (which I do at least twice a month) you should check out the Top of the 80s in Hazleton, PA.

Named for the intersection of two highways with the number 8 in them (so clever), this joint is peak Poconos. It's hanging off the side of a mountain, has mostly old people eating, and for some reason they have a lot of seafood on the menu even though they are A) in the mountains, and B) 125 miles from a coast.  Whatever.

Fries with a view.

The Grunion wolfed these down as an "appetizer" before destroying a burger or something. Hey that's my Tilt shirt!

I guess they really hit the spot after a long day in the back seat complaining about how long the drive is and asking over and over when we are going to eat again.

I had to snap these pics super fast cause I think the fries only lasted like 3 minutes. He gave them the thumbs up, although when I asked him what they tasted like he just shrugged. Probably didn't have a chance to taste em.

Because I am fancy, I enjoyed the House Made Potato Pancakes served with sour cream and green stuff. They were temperate, yet adequate.

We watched the sunset and wondered what the poor people were doing.  DO IT.

Argenta is Lush with Fries

The last time I was in Argenta (reclaimed hipster area North of downtown LR across the river) was when it was first being hipsterfied. That was probably 20 years ago and now it's full on snickerdoodle dogs and looneylemon stretchy pants. One thing about those folks is that they like high quality food though. Brood & Barley is there so I tried it.

Standard "used to be a store and we made it into a bar" decor thing going. 

I asked the kid about the Chesapeake fries and he confirmed it's just fries with Old Bay seasoning on them so I went with the Shush ones instead.

High quality. I have to note that what you are seeing here is the "happy hour" portion for $5 so don't freak out - the portion is decent.

I didn't bother to ask what was in the Shush sauce but these were really good. DO IT.

Next up was Flyway Brewing (right around the corner from B&B). They have a birds theme. CAW!

 

 Standard brewery taproom look - check.

 

"Famous" Gumbo Cheese Fries for THIRTEEN DOLLARS? Sign me up! I would have liked some nice buffalo chicken fries as well but sweet potatoes are not real potatoes and they can rot in hell.

BOOM.

NICE. These suckers are FULL ON. Savory and crawfishy with a nice spicy kick.

Thirteen bucks is a kick to the giblets but these are pretty close to perfect. DO IT ON PAYDAY.

 

 

I Don't Know Why I Keep Doing This

I see these things in the gas station and I'm like.." Maybe this is the one. Maybe this time I will discover the best thing ever and my life will be complete and I will win the lottery and there will be world peace because I discovered something cheap and stupid that is actually amazing like bubble wrap."

But then I...

No...just...no.

Airports are Weird Places to Eat

So I'm a jetsetter. And I was jetsettin in the Charlotte airport and I needed some fries. The closest "restaurant" to my next flight was this joint Whiskey River.

Decor was like what Disneyland thinks rednecks like. Faux cowhide chairbacks.

Mechanical bull (with festive St. Patricks Cape).

But you can't beat the view so...

LET'S HEAT THINGS UP WITH SOME TOTS! 

Hmm.

These tots were not at all spicy/hot, the pulled pork was gummy, and the portion was crapola. These things sucked bad. The waitress noticed I only ate half (she knew fatties like me always wolf down anything) and asked if there was something wrong with them.I told her they sucked and she said "Yeah, they do. But the wings are awesome-you should have tried those."  WTH? Thanks for the post tip.

So anyway I got the wings and they were awesome. But this is not a wing report.