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Wednesday, August 15, 2012

The Grunion and Z Go Fry Crazy

The Grunion and Z recently served me with a formal grievance document with 114 individual areas of concern.  Concern #54 specifically noted that they felt "underrepresented with respect to matters regarding the disposition and subsequent promotion/publishing of accurate french fry data."  The following review created by the Grunion and Z is the result of legally binding arbitration and in no way reflects the views, attitude, beliefs, and/or opinions of Gibby.  I was, however, legally obligated to supply them with the fries for this endeavor.

Z:  Okay, so we've got fries from three places to review today.  Let's start with McD's.  Good presentation, good color, relatively hot.

Z:  Nice length, good consistency of product throughout.

Z:  Ah, yes.  A balanced bouquet, with broad character and depth that begins alkaline but finishes strong with a salty effervescence.

GRUNION:  These are good.  Next!

Z:  Let's see.  Wendy's fries next.  Whoa!  This is huge!  Why didn't the fat man get us large orders of all of them?

Z:  The package says natural cut with sea salt.  Hmmm.  Meh.  I find these fries to be undercooked and unmotivated.  Pedestrian in taste and presentation.  Fie!

GRUNION:  Ummm...let's see...I think that these fries are like...stupid or something.  But good.  Cause there's a lot of em.  So...stupid but good.

GRUNION:  Check out these Spider Man fries from Hardees!  They taste all spidery!

GRUNION:  If I was Spider Man, I would use my web shooting thingys to get fries all the time.

Z:  Hey, that reminds me.  How can you spot a hipster spider?
GRUNION:  Dunno.

Z:  He doesn't have a web, he has a website!  Get it?

Z:  Hello?  Grunion?  Do you get it?  Where are you going?

***Several dozen fries later***

Z:  Oh man, my stomach is killing me!
JET the DOG: Does that mean you're done with that fry in your hand?

Z: stomach!  I'm soooo full!

GRUNION: Full?  What does that word mean?  Wanna file a grievance for ice cream?

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