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Tuesday, June 9, 2015

TULSA = Anniversary Weirdness

Since it's customary to celebrate your 10th wedding anniversary by traveling to Tulsa, we decided to use our super-luck powers to ensure that we went on the hottest weekend so far this year.

We always stay downtown cause that way we don't have to drive so much and also there's a chance you'll run into some famous person who is playing at Cain's or the Brady Theater only a few blocks away.  Plus they have all these charming signs.  I really wanted to call Rusty Roberts and try to convince him that my donkey got busted but Amy pointed out that he probably gets calls like that all the time.

Speaking of signs, Tulsa really wants you to know that you're in "Downtown Tulsa".  There are like 20 of these giant signs all crammed into a 6 square block area.  I wonder how many kids' pre-school tuition or lunch could have been bought instead of these things.

Albert G's Bar and Q (-1 for silly name design) is right next to James E. McNellie's Public House downtown.  I thought it was kind of strange that you would want your joint right next to strong competition but it seems to be working for em.

Heh.  Look at the door handle.  How cleaver.

Albert G's looks like a tourist trap chain joint, but I was struck by the inimitable smell of smoke that had been flowing slowly over meat for a long period of time.  You just know good BBQ smoke when you smell it, and Albert G's has it.

I've started giving extra points for places that put a roll of paper towels on the table since 95% of all restaurants have apparently become napkin stingy over the last couple of years.

Also, +1 for these Victorian England-era Oliver Twist orphanage style metal plates.  COOL.

My prior research indicated that the Debris Fries (with shredded brisket and gravy) were the way to go.  This is them.

They were piping/steaming hot.  Normally I don't like gravy on fries, and BBQ sauce with gravy seemed gross-until I tried it.  It is soooo good.  And they don't skimp on the brisket, either.  I bet there was 3/4 of a pound on there.

Look at that bite of brisket!  Albert G's brisket fries are the bomb.  10 out of 10.

-1 for having "tabouli" on the menu though.  WTF?

The only other thing that sucks about Albert G's is that they have this sandwich on the menu called the "Fat Albert G's" that they tout as this giant thing that is sooo big that you can't finish it and all that.

This is it.  It was tasty, but...

Fork for scale.  I wolfed that thing down like a beagle eats cheese.  #PortionFail

After our BBQ we were hungry for some acousti-rock so we caught Travis Kidd's show at the Blue Rose Cafe down by the river (heh).  I'm not sure everyone knows how amazing of a guitar player Travis is, but you should definitely check him out the next time you have the chance (which is like 30 times a week cause that guy is like a Jamaican with the gigs).  And when you see him, buy a t-shirt.  Here he is playing Cold Gin by Kiss (I was trying to make him laugh).

When we got back to the hotel, Huey Lewis was getting out of his car and walking through the lobby but I didn't get to make a fool of myself in front of him on accounta Amy was too slow getting out of the cab.  Dammit!  I made her pay for it the next day at Fassler Hall by making her stay there for FIVE HOURS.  We were watching a Razorback baseball game though...

At about hour 3, this silly crowd of birthday people came cruising up on this giant car/multi-bike thing. They came into Fassler Hall for a beer.  We made fun of them for a while until we realized that:
A) They were drinking while they rode.
B) They were exercising while they were drinking.
C) They were (mostly) younger and thinner than we are.

So we begrudgingly bid them good tidings, and returned to the AIR CONDITIONING.

Later that day a LGBT pride parade went right through downtown.  Sweet!

There was the obligatory float with scantily-clad men dancing and... that Tiffany?

Indeed it was Tiffany, and thanks to Tulsa Pride we were treated to a nice little concert at the end of the parade.

Make all the fun you want, but that girl can sing.  Good for her.

Amy got nostalgic during Could've Been.

We had a great time, but I was left thinking how nice it'll be when there isn't a need for these parades anymore and we can just have "people pride" parades.  Soon...

After the parade, we were starving so we walked to Fat Guys's Burger Bar in the "Greenwood" district.  Funny thing about downtown Tulsa is that every other block calls itself a "district".  Look at a map-it's hilarious.  Within a six or seven square block area there are at least five districts: the Blue Dome district, the Brady Arts district, the Deco district, the Greenwood district, and so on.  We walked three blocks and crossed three districts.  Silly.

I should note that by this time it was like 417 degrees with 1,934% humidity and the A/C in Fat Guy's was not cutting it (ironic).  We were miserable sweaty.  I got the large order of spicy fries cause Amy was getting regular ones anyway.  They came in a big sweaty bag.

Super amount, but when fresh cut fries are not cooked right (blanched and then fried) they get soggy-especially when you throw them down in the bottom of a bag to steam.

Only about 30% of them were at least cooked enough to enjoy.  I think they just throw some crab boil and/or Tony Chachere's dust on em.  They are okay, not great.  I think if you asked for them well done they might be better.  6 out of 10.

The burgers were likewise forgettable.  Look how flat.  Meh.

After this we were obliterated.  We were in our hotel bed by 9 p.m.  Such losers.  We felt great the next day for the drive home, though.

When we got home, Loretta was on shrooms. 

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