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Friday, May 16, 2014

The Lawn Taxi

GRUNION:  Yo, Z!  Come get in this wheely-bucket thing.  I'm a taxi.
Z:  Okey-dokey.

GRUNION: So, where are ya from?  What are ya doin here in the big city?
Z: Huh?  Oh...okay...we're doing that pretend thing.  I'm here on business and I'm kind of in a hurry so can you step on it-and don't take the cross town expressway.  I'm not some rube tourist!

GRUNION: Yes, sir. No problem. got any kids?
Z: *sigh  Look-I really don't want to talk-

GRUNION: Yeah.  I've got 4 kids myself.  The wife has to stay at home taking care of em and I never get to see em and I'm in this taxi all the time just tryin to make ends meet.
Z: Hmmm.

GRUNION:  My youngest two are....*sniff...kinda sick right now and I don't know how-
Z:  Hey man, I know you're just tryin to shine me up with this drivel to get a better tip but you should know that I don't tip so you can clam up.

GRUNION:  No tip?
Z:  Nope.

GRUNION:  Then you're outta here!
Z:  Whoa!

Z:  That was totally rad!  Let's do it again.  This time I'll be a bunch of drunk sorority girls!

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