The Burger Shack

Every so often, a cocky new fry kid comes to town. And they are usually at least semi-cautious with their fry bragging.  Not so with newcomers The Burger Shack on MLK in Fayetteville.  They are straight up smack talkin!  They mention their fries right on the sign!

 AND IN HUGE LETTERS ON THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING!

Oh it is SO on.

The inside looks like a beach bar.  Burger Shack.  Get it?

There's even a cabana-looking thing where the waiters make milkshakes.

What's with the thing where places are putting the potato boxes on display in the front of the restaurant these days?  5 Guys Burgers does this too.  Weird trend.

Whoa!  Free peanuts while you wait!  Sweet.  Unstrike one...

Their frying setup looked promising.  The baskets on the left were in some water (possibly brine), and it looked like there were two different fryers with two different temperatures of oil.

$2.49 for a "medium" paper boat of fries.  Too many to count, but definitely a strike for price vs. quantity.

The upside: GOOD!  Crisp on the outside and fluffy on the inside.

There was a seasoning on them, but we couldn't make out what it was.

To be fair, their bold signage mentions that the fries are fresh cut.  That is true.  I'll give them that.  If their signs said "Fresh Cut GOOD Fries" I would agree.  If their signs said "Fresh Cut GREAT Fries" I would disagree.

8 out of 10.

P.S.    I put like 60 peanuts in my pockets while I was waiting.
P.P.S. Amy said their milkshakes are really good but I don't care about milkshakes.

Nomad's Natural Plate Food Truck

I have long since lost my ability to remain functionally appropriate after a few beers, and I like to avoid making a fool of myself in public.  For this reason, I rarely go out on Dickson Street (the main bar section of Fayetteville for those of you who don't know) any more unless it's a special occasion.  This past Saturday was a special occasion (a reunion show by the Paper Hearts), so I was down on Dickson with the Bandit.

On our way home, the Bandit demanded food from the Nomad's food truck.  I was in no condition to interact with strangers.

NOMAD's GUY: Hi, what can I get you?
GIBBY:  It's....it's..prime time penguins....snarlffffttt!
NOMAD's GUY: Whoa.

The Bandit quickly stepped in to interpret.
BANDIT:  He says he wants fries.  Do you have fries?
NOMAD's GUY:  Yes.  We have pita fries and regular fries.
BANDIT:  Which fries do you want, Gibby?
GIBBY: Yaaawwwr!  I saw something!  Review!  Review!
BANDIT:  Just give us an order of both.  And a falafel (I didn't agree to the falafel).

Both the pita fries and the regular fries were 3 bucks.  Kinda steep.  The kid put everything in one box, which depressed me since I knew the fry count would be low.

The pita fries were interesting.  Pita bread chopped into funny shapes and deep fried.  Kinda meh, but the tzatziki sauce made them okay (not great).

The regular fries were quite good.  They are basically the same fries you get at the local Greek joint.  Since they aren't technically potatoes I won't give them a score.  Good seasoning.  Outta the freezer bag, but hot and tasty.  Amount was bad for 3 bucks though.  7 out of 10.

The Bandit ate the falafel.  She said it was good, but she's a vegetarian so what does she know?

The Burger Patti

RudiTodd from luvmetenders fame hipped me to this new joint on the West side of Fayettenam.  It used to be an insurance office or something, but now it's a burger place.  Ugly.

Big Roy and I walked in and were immediately flummoxed by the lack of space (editors note: big men get nervous in confined spaces).  To say that The Burger Patti is tiny is an insult to tiny, cause tiny is bigger than this.  Here is the (total) seating area.  BTW the picture is not blurry, that guy was actually a blurry person.

The counter where you order is at most 4 feet from the front door.  Notice the drink machine precariously perched on the counter? 

And this is what you see directly behind the order counter.  Not pretty.

I was pleasantly surprised to see actual potatoes back there, though.  Let's hope he knows how to cook em.

Big Roy and I ordered the standard burger/fries/drink combo, but when I asked for an extra order of fries for evaluation the little chippy behind the counter smirked.
CHIPPY:  The combo comes with fries.
GIBBY:  I know.  I want an extra order of fries.
CHIPPY:  That's a lot of fries...I mean...you probably aren't going to be able to finish them.
GIBBY:  Huh huh......Ha Ha....HA HA....HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...*Cough  *Cough
*Chippy starts backing away scared
BIG ROY:  Pardon my friend.  He's been on extended bivouac with the 463rd battalion regiment foxtrot company and hasn't had anything but MREs for 6 months.  He's extremely hungry.

15 mintues later, we got this.  The salt shaker is to show scale.  Too many fries to count, but a good amount for the $1.95 they cost.

Freshly fried, skin-on fries that seemed to be double cooked.  Perfect.

I'd like to note that the amount of fries we got WITH the burger was about a third of the full order, making the Chippy SO INCREDIBLY WRONG about what constitutes "a lot of fries".  Anyhoo, here's the burger, blah, blah, blah, this is not a burger blog.

Even though the only pretty thing at The Burger Patti is the fry-delusional Chippy, Big Roy (and I) both give the fries a 10 out of 10.  Rare for fresh cut fries.

Mr. Dunderbak's in Daytona Beach

It's not often that a joint is a home run on all fronts.  It's even less often that a chain joint is a home run.  Even less oftener-ish is when said chain joint is located in a mall.  In spite of what would seem to be a recipe for total Solanum Tuberosum disappointment, Mr. Dunderbak's is THE BEST PLACE EVER!

Located in the Volusia County Mall in Daytona Beach, FL, Mr. Dunderbak's has been operating under the same family ownership since 1975 (I got that from their website, but we know it's true cause the original owner's son and now current owner waited on us).  He was super-cool.  BTW, there are Mr. Dunderbak's(s) all over the country.  Google it.

Anyhoo, Mr. Dunderbak's is this uber-weird concept.  It's a restaurant, bar, German stuff store, premium beer/wine store, and delicatessen (which includes fresh sausage, cheeses, desserts, and more).  It's a bit visually confusing.  We were there at like 2 o'clock on a Tuesday, so the only people there were old folks and college kids.

The place is jam-packed with stuff.  Here you can see the bottles of super-fancy beer piled on the bar that you can buy and take home.  They also have like 40 beers on tap.  Crazy!

German style food?  Check!  We got the sausage sampler:

The Jager Schnizel:

And the Reuben.  Awesome.

I was enjoying a tasty Hacker Pschorr Oktoberfest when these came to the table.  $2.59 for 46 steaming-hot, savory fries that overflowed from the boat onto the plate (I love that).

The batter was clearly beer-related, and the seasoning had hints of curry, pepper, allspice, and cayenne.

Exquisite!  10 out of 10!

GRUNION:  Yo pops, these fries are great but I think you should let me out of this kid seat so I can do some shopping.
GIBBY:  By "shopping" do you mean running around and knocking stuff over?

GRUNION:  A little bit.
GIBBY: Then, no.

GRUNION:  Cool.  I'll just throw the king of all hissy fits here in the chair.  All those retired Germans at the next table will probably love it.
GIBBY:  Okay, go knock stuff over.

If heaven is like a mall, Mr. Dunderbak's better be what the section for people who like beer and fries is like.

Dollywood!

Ah, Dollywood.  The amusement park that was the childhood home of country music and film star Dolly Parton.  She grew up in a little one room cabin next to the log flume ride, and they say that's what made her strive and dream and work and reach for the stars!  Or something like that.  We were there cause the Grunion heard they had a USATC S118 Class 2-8-2 steam locomotive and he wanted to check out the 76.2 mm wide spacers they placed between the wheels and the truck side frames on the axles to deal with the fact that they were originally narrow gauge engines for mountain use.

Anyhoo, while we were on the train, they must have made a loudspeaker announcement that everyone AND THEIR ENTIRE FAMILY should go get in line at the ONLY BOOTH in Dollywood that sold fries.  Seriously, we passed the booth like 20 minutes earlier and there was NO ONE waiting.  This was the line when we got there.

The line snaked all the way back to the Pappy Snuffy's Pissin Porch restrooms!

As I was waiting in line (the Grunion and Amy abandoned me to get a funnel cake), I started to realize why there was such a long line for a product that takes 2 minutes to make.  The place was infested with grannys!  The woman running the show (named Millie) had to be at least 80.

Every other word out of Millie's mouth was "What?" cause she couldn't hear.  She also dealt with the touchscreen register like it was trying to rob her.  Sheesh.  BTW, this turned out to be endemic at Dollywood, as we encountered the elderly running most of the shops and booths.

Sooooooo an order of "tater twirls" and a diet coke is....YIKES!

The moment of truth.  Not good.  They were the kind of "fries" where they just spin-cut a potato (usually with a cordless drill and a weird attachment) and toss the whole spun-cut mess into the fryer with no brining, and with no two-stage blanching/cooking.

Here's a close up.  WTH?  Is that a hair on the fries right in the middle there?  Didn't notice that while we were eating them.  Gross!

I was already gonna give these overpriced, bland, texturally dubious embarrassments a low score, but now with the photographic evidence of contamination with what looks to be (at best) an eyelash, I have to declare that these fries are LESS THAN ZERO.  -2 out of 10. 

Bad Dolly!  No surgery biscuit!

Smoky Mountain Brewery, Pigeon Forge, TN

We drove through Pigeon Forge, TN recently on our way to Florida.  And yes, Pigeon Forge is the home of the famed Dollywood Amusement Park in case you were wondering.  It took us 12 hours to get there, and by then we were ready for some beer and fries.  Luckily, by accident the hotel I booked was directly across the street from the Smoky Mountain Brewery.  Sweet!

First we drank a bunch of "taster" beers.  They were all good, but they could do fine with 3 or 4 since some of them were so similar you couldn't tell the difference.

Then we had some soft pretzels with beer cheese and mustard.  This is well known to cure road weariness.

Then we ordered fries.

Meh.

Ok amount for $2.75, but they were just your garden-variety frozen baggers with some tricky spice tossed on em.  4 out of 10.  Stick to the beer and pretzels.

Amy and the Grunion got into an embarrassing milk/beer chugging contest right before we left.