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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Longhorn Steak House Tupelo, MS

Fair Warning: If you live in Tupelo, Mississippi or have family, friends, or some other connection/affinity for/to Tupelo, Mississippi I suggest that you not read this post. 

Tupelo, Mississippi is a rotten little embarrassment located at just the right point between Memphis, TN and Birmingham, AL that 99% of anyone traveling anywhere close will have to stop there at some point.  Yeah, yeah, it's where Elvis was born and all that-but if you go there you'll realize why he left.  Dumpola!

On a recent car trip back home from Florida, we were forced to stay in Crapelo overnight.  The Grunion was starving, so we had to go out somewhere to dinner.  About a block from THE WORST HOTEL WE HAVE EVER STAYED IN (don't get me started) was the Longhorn Steakhouse.  We figured it was a good bet cause it was a chain and all.

It was Saturday night, and the wait was 30 mintues!  We said forget it.  How is this possible with a population of only 35,059 people?  We drove to some of the other restaurants.  Buffalo Wild Wings?  1-hour wait!  Chili's? 45 minute wait!  WTH?  We went back to Longhorn and waited.  Turns out that the population surrounding Crapelo is 160,000 people or so.  This means that every weekend, everyone from the sticks crawls down to the "big city" to have a fancy dinner and get drunk at the "bar" in Chili's.  Yeesh.

The Longhorn Steakhouse presents itself as a "fancy" establishment, as evidenced by the price of their sides.  $2.69 for a "side" of fries at a "fancy" chain restaurant is not out of the ordinary, but wait...

So...yeah.  Faux skin-on frozen bag Sysco nightmares that were actually soggy from obviously being dunked in oil that wasn't hot enough.  And the picture makes it look like a decent amount, right?

Here's a shot with one of the Grunion's crayons to show scale.  Those suckers were tiny and few.  Boo.

Grunion:  You sure got hosed on those, Pop.  Pretty good Mac and Cheese, tho.

Longhorn Steak House fries = 0 out of 10.  Mostly because we had to be in Crapelo to try them (and also cause they totally suck).

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