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Friday, September 12, 2014

Amy Vs.Kansas City MEGA POST

Every once in a while, Amy and I get to sneak away from the Grunion and pretend to be non-kid people.  Last weekend we busted it up to KC to check out the scene.  This is KC.

The first night we were going to see Cake play, so we needed some fry courage (on accounta we're so old and going to concerts can be embarrassing).  Luckily, there was a joint located right in our hotel called Drum Room that had an interesting offering.

Salt and Vinegar fries with Goat Cheese Fondue?  Ok.

Strike one was that they were "out of salt and vinegar fries".  They didn't have any salt or vinegar sitting around the kitchen?  Whatever.  They had "regular" fries though.

15 minutes and $4 later this was what we got.

Admirable for a bar.  Crispy, hot, green stuff on top.

The goat cheese fondue was awesome, but miniscule.  More would have been better (obviously).  Also, dipping the fries in the tiny ramekin was difficult.

All in all, I would say these are a solid 8.  I almost ordered another round.  I should mention that this is the first moment that Amy became suspicious about my intentions for the weekend.
AMY:  We're not just going to be eating at french fry places all weekend, right?
GIBBY:  *cough...Why no, honey.  There'll be plenty of other stuff.

It wasn't until they were almost all gone that we noticed that the fries came in a mini iron stew pot.  Cool.  But no extra points.

Standing in line to get into Grinders, we met this nice couple who were there for the concert as well.  They were intrigued by my quest for fries, and offered up some suggestions (which we didn't have time to check out).  Anyway, I told them I would make them famous.

Grinders was total chaos, so we couldn't try the fries and tots they are apparently famous for until the next day.  More on that later.

Cake was fun.  The only problem was that we're not used to two hundred or so 40-year olds in Members Only® jackets whipping out joints and smoking them all around us.  

I got super dizzy and danced real good...

A couple hours later we shuffled into BRGR cause my research outlined some cool fry-related items there.

Amy was tired (and not paying too much attention) so I ordered a bunch of stuff before she really noticed.

I distracted her by pointing out the cool switchblade style steak knives.

When they brought the first round of all the crap I ordered (giant pretzels with cheese dip) Amy got SUPER PARANOID that everyone was looking at us cause we ordered SO MUCH stuff and it was ALL CRAP.  I told her she probably just had a contact high from the Members Only® jacket crew and that she was being silly.

Actually, now that I'm seeing the pictures...

That last pic is a Lobster Grilled Cheese that comes WITH TRUFFLE FRIES and a fried egg on top.  The sandwich was meh.

The regular fries were served in an espresso milk steamer thingy.  They were pretty good.  At $3 in this area of town I'll give em an 8.

The tots were awesome.  For $5 you get a ton.  10 out of 10.

The Truffle Fries were similarly awesome.  $4 for these is a great deal.  10 out of 10.

Let me express how miserably stuffed I was at this point.  I ordered a beer and didn't even finish half of it cause my stomach was so bloated.  Why?  When will the madness end?  Amy was pissed that I tricked her into more fries.

The next day we went back to Grinders.  I told Amy that it was on the way to a place we were going later.  She was suspicious again.

Grinders is basically JR's Lightbulb Club frozen in time in about 1995.  They were even playing Matchbox 20 when we walked in (strike one).  "BIG ASS FRIES"?  And "BIG ASS TOTS"?  Let's get it on!

Um.....where's the BIG?

Again.....this is BIG ASS?

Grinders is a really cool joint, but their fries and tots are substandard.  Go for the pie and beers, but skip the fries and tots. 6 out of 10.

Amy was pissed (again).  Understandable considering it had now been about 26 hours and she had eaten nothing but fries, cheese, and soft pretzels.  I offered her a pizza.

A PIZZA WITH CHILI TATER TOTS ON IT!  This is their "famous" Chili Bomb Pie.  It's a pizza with a mound of tater tots smothered in chili and cheese in the middle.  Amy refused.

I promised Amy she could have "real" food at the next place, which happened to be Haus.

This German-like joint was hosting an Oktoberfest later in the day, but they also have something called "Belgian Fries" which are supposedly "double cooked" so I wanted to get there early to try them.  Whoa.  Saturday at 2pm is kinda dead here.

Apparently we got there WAY too early. We made the best of it.  First, Fried Cheese Curds and MORE PRETZELS!  Amy had pretty much given up on food at this point.

There was something weird about the pretzels...

The fried cheese curds were stupid.

And the fries.



They're bad.  Nothing cute here, they're just soggy and bad.  4 out of 10.

The waitresses were wearing those cute Oktoberfest dresses though!

We drowned our sorrows in samples of 30 different "Oktoberfest" beers-most of which were pumpkin-flavored.

We capped off the night with a few brews at The Flying Saucer.  And since Amy said she never wanted to see fries again I ordered the most ridiculous (non-fries) thing on the menu which turned out to be a MASSIVE disgusting display of 'Merica.  Pretzels, cut up bits of ham and sausage, AND A GIANT VAT OF CHEESE DIP on stilts with a burner for the whole world to see.  It also had carrots and celery though, so it was healthy!

Amy was totally defeated.

Victory: Kansas City 
P.S.  I love Amy more than I love anyone else cause she puts up with this crap.

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