When I awoke on the third day, Claire had pooped in my mouth again. What is it with that cat? I made a mental note to sleep on my stomach (or at least my side) to try and keep it from happening again. Andy was at work, so we decided to go to Devon street to have Indian food (cause he wouldn't have gone anyway).
Devon street is packed with Indian restaurants, shops, event centers, etc. We chose a restaurant at random that happened to have a buffet. The Bandit inspected the buffet and gave it the thumbs down, so we decided to order from the menu.
US: We would like to order from the menu.
WAITER: (perplexed) But there is a buffet.
US: We know, but we would rather order from the menu.
WAITER: But everything that you might order is on the buffet.
US: That's okay, we still want to order from the menu.
The waiter then listed every single item on the buffet.
WAITER: You see? Everything is on the buffet.
BANDIT: I'm an ovo-vegetarian.
WAITER: blank stare..
SHANNON: Do you have wine?
SHANNON: What kinds?
WAITER: All kinds.
SHANNON: Do you have a white wine?
SHANNON: Is it chardonnay, pinot gri-
WAITER: I will bring you a white wine. What else?
KYLE: Tell me about these Indian beers on the table tent. Are they any good?
WAITER: They are brand new.
KYLE: blank stare
AMY: Let's have one Taj Mahal beer and one Hercules beer.
WAITER: Okay, I will be right back with the menus.
We surmised that it may have been the waiter's first day. In short order, the waiter brought Shannon's mystery wine which was FILLED COMPLETELY TO THE RIM. Hilarious.
He also brought the two GIANT beers. They were at least 26 ounces each. The Taj Mahal was hideous.
And the Hercules was not only hideous, but the label on the back indicated that it had been brewed in September of 2008! Yuck!
Contrary to the beer and wine, the food was awesome. No fries though, so no pictures. We left Devon street, picked up Andy, and met some friends in "Old Town" at a joint called Old Town Social (not a very original name).
At this place, they had GOOSE FAT CHIPS. Fresh cut potato slices fried in goose fat. Weird. They also had the obligatory fancy mac and cheese and french fries. Andy ordered corn dogs just to be funny.
The mac and cheese was great, the fries were meh, and the goose fat chips were a total bust-ola. What a racket. Elliot Ness would have busted this place for racketeering. Not only was there no discernible "goose fat" taste, but the portion size was also really small. 4 bucks down the toilet.
We were so upset we decided to go out and have "a few drinks" after Andy went to bed. We had to get up and meet Kebra S. the next day at a decent hour, so we absolutely had to be in bed "early". We went to a bar where the tables were made out of cut up sections of bowling alleys. Cool.
The Bandit had an Abita Purple Haze which for some reason prompted her to rifle through her purse in search of her credit card.
After a thorough search, we determined that it was lost. Panic! Disaster! Shannon calmly called the bar from the night before and asked if they had the Bandit's card, which they did. Crisis averted! Shannon is so much better at this adult cosmopolitan stuff than we are. "It's a gift", Shannon said as she artfully sipped her Pinot.
SHANNON: You know, it's only fair that when we swing by the bar to pick up the Bandit's credit card that we have a few drinks to thank them for keeping her card safe.
US: Umm, we're supposed to be up early and we probably should just go home.
All of a sudden, we all turned into banditos!
KYLE: Arrgh! (definitely pirate) I think we should do what Anita says!
AMY: I can make the angriest bandito eyes anyone has ever seen!
BANDIT: Gumballhead! Gumballhead! Gumballhead!
So we jogged (for the exercise) back to the bar from the night before to get the Bandit's credit card and thank them for keeping the card safe. As we walked in, they were playing Shake Your Rump by the Beastie Boys and Shannon and the Bandit went ballistic. The Bandit sat on the table and wore the lamp as a hat.
While she was doing this, the bouncer/doorman was reading a book. WTF? Bouncers in Chicago read books WHILE THEY ARE WORKING?
The Bandit saw a random guy selling tamales from a cooler and decided that I needed some. She literally chased the guy down the street and bought me like 8 of them.
TO BE CONTINUED...