Sweet Pacer For Sale

Saw this super-sweet AMC Pacer for sale at Parker Motors on North College in Fayetteville.  Chick Magnet!

Post Valentine's Day Economic Recovery Act For Dudes

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Grub's Uptown Now Open

Since Grub's has the highest-rated fries here on the report, I was very excited to hear that Grub's "Uptown" location had opened in the old Meaux Dad's building in front of Target.  Now I can enjoy my favorite fries (and fry dip) without the hassle of Dickson Street!

My buddy EJ and I decided it would be prudent to do a review of the fries at the new location just to be sure they were using the same recipe. It was 9:00, and they didn't open until 11:00 so I tricked EJ into driving to Golden Corral for the breakfast buffet.  He was not impressed.

GIBBY:  So, whattya think?
EJ:  This food reminds me of when I was in the army, and the people here are actually WORSE than the people you see at Walmart at 3am on a Tuesday.  I've never seen so many pairs of dirty sweat pants in my life.

After 47 slices of bacon and 11 pancakes (between the two of us), we headed over to Grub's Uptown.  I ordered fries and EJ ordered A SIDE SALAD!  The fries were just as good as at the Dickson location, and I actually got 24 more fries for the same $1.99 than I got during my review of the "downtown" location.  Sweet! 10 out of 10.

GIBBY:  Want some fries?  They'd go great with that SALAD!
EJ:  No.  I'm trying to wash Golden Corral out of my mouth and mind.

GIBBY:  If you're a complete wuss, giggle like a little girl while I take a picture of you.
***click***
GIBBY:  I thought so.

Grunion and Z Swingers Revisited

After meeting a couple of beautiful babies at La Huerta...

Z:  How long do I wait to call?

GRUNION:  A day.

Z:  Tomorrow?

GRUNION:  No, tomorrow, then a day.

Z:  So, two days.

GRUNION:  Definitely.  Two days.  That's the industry standard.

Z:  Why don't I just wait three weeks and tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and found her number?

GRUNION:  Laugh all you want, but if you call too soon you can scare off a nice baby who's ready to party.

The Grunion Educates Z

GRUNION:  Yo, dude.  I'm older than you, so I'm gonna lay some wisdom on ya.
Z: You're only like 8 weeks older.

GRUNION: Listen up.  You gotta ALWAYS keep the rents on their toes.  If they're too relaxed, they may forget to record an episode of the street or gabba, and they may even forget one of your meals!

Z: Dang!  How do I keep em frosty?

GRUNION:  First of all, you gotta do weird stuff so they pay attention constantly.
Z: Like what?
GRUNION: See how many of these animal crackers you can fit in your mouth at once.
Z:  Mmmmkay

GRUNION:  One more!
Z: Mmmph!

GRUNION:  One more!
Z: Mmmph!

GRUNION:  And another!
Z:  MMMMMPH!

GRUNION:  Cool.  Now I'll massage your head. See how the rents are all agitated?  They've even got that flashy thing out.
Z: Mm-hmm.

Z: I'm feelin a bit woozy...

GRUNION:  Another good one is to make the poop face even when you haven't.  It keeps em guessing.
Z: Like this?
GRUNION: Perfect!

GRUNION:  Okay, here's another one.  Every time the rents give you a sippy, you gotta hose it all down pronto.  That way they think you're way thirstier than you actually are, and then you get more!
Z: Cool.  Got it.

GRUNION: Lesson four.  You gotta CONSTANTLY open doors and drawers that you're not supposed to.  This keeps em totally focused on you.
Z: Cool.

GRUNION:  See how they have to get up off the couch to come tell us "no"? 
Z: Yup.
GRUNION:  By the way, later they're gonna put these little lock things on all the doors-but you'll figure out how to get them off in no time.  I just break em off cause it takes the rents a while to buy new ones.
Z:  Word.

GRUNION:  Whoa!  Here's a great one!  I don't have stairs at my house, but I wish I did!  The rents REALLY freak out if you hang out on the stairs!  Come on!
Z: Crap!  I can't climb stairs yet!

GRUNION:  Here's another good one!  ALWAYS let the dogs lick your hands.  This freaks out the rents bad!
Z: Solid.  It feels cool too.

Z: Thanks for all the knowledge, bro!  Let's jam!
GRUNION and Z: Early in the mornin, hop into the benz, I got forty-four ways of gettin paid...

The Grunion Meets Wonder Woman

During the big snow storm, we got a surprise visit from a superhero (not LJ). 

WW/LJ: Hiya!  I'm here to save you from the snow!

WW/LJ:  I'm Wonder Woman!  And I deflect bullets with my wristbands....

WW/LJ:  And get bad guys to tell the truth with my lasso of truth!

WW/LJ:  Come here, little boy!  I'm going to force you to tell the truth about who shaved a heart on the dog for valentine's day!
GRUNION:  Ahhhh!  Run away, puppy!  Run away!

GRUNION:  Hey puppy, where'd she go?

WW/LJ:  Hiya!  Here I am!  I flew back here from down the hall!

GRUNION:  Why do you keep saying "Hiya"?
WW/LJ:  What's with the questions?  How bout a big kiss?

GRUNION:  Dammit!  Do I have superhero lipstick on my face?

GRUNION:  So, um.... how's the superhero game treatin ya?
WW/LJ:  It's okay, but our union dues are goin up, and they're slashing our benefits-you know, same old crap.

GRUNION:  You ever think about goin solo?  You know, doing some consulting and such?
WW/LJ:  Yeah, but it's a big risk right now with the economy and everything.  Plus I'd lose my time in position for seniority and all the stock vesting time...it just sucks.

GRUNION:  What about retirement?  Are you good to-
WW/LJ:  I don't even want to talk about it.  I should have started saving way earlier when I was with the superfriends, you know?

WW/LJ:  Man, these boots are killing me!
GRUNION:  Yeah, me too.
WW/LJ:  Huh?
GRUNION:  Nothing.

GRUNION:  Hey look!  There's a guy out there getting mugged!
WW/LJ:  Crap.  Did anyone see me?

GRUNION:  Yeah, the guy's wife sees you.
WW/LJ:  Dammit!  Well, guess I gotta go.

GRUNION:  I hope she diversifies her retirement accounts....

IHCC Valentine's Day Deal

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B & R's Old Fashioned Burgers in CA

So one of my fry-spies (definitely not JD) wants to redeem himself for recently reporting on a joint that didn't even have fries and has submitted the following report from the field.

Okay, after the severe left-over meatloaf beating I took for the last review I (not JD) decided to step it up and risk life and limb to provide a top-notch fry review.  While on assignment in Hawthorn, CA, I consulted roadfood.com for a comprehensive list of the best rated fries in the area (by the way, roadfood.com has never let me down).  B & R's Old Fashioned Hamburgers was listed as having awesome fries, so we ventured out.  A few of my co-workers were kinda hesitant cause it's located on Rosecrans Ave. (one block off Crenshaw Blvd) in a "sketchy" neighborhood.  I forged on.

I ordered the King Burger Basket with chili/cheese fries.

We also got regular fries.

My buddy Brent ordered the pastrami burger with a fried egg and a order of regular fries.  It was awesome.

The fries were amazing.   Thick cut and seasoned perfectly right out of the fryer. They even had extra seasoned salt if you needed it. The fries just got better with the addition of chili and cheese.  I'd give the whole experience a 10. Especially since we made it out alive.

Not JD, you have redeemed yourself.  Now go review the fry offerings at the Crenshaw Swap Meet.