The Grunion's College Tuition/My Retirement Plan

Let's face it, the Grunion is probably gonna be at least 6'3" and weigh around 260, so who are we kidding?  He's not gonna be a cross country runner.

The day the Grunion was born, I decided that he would be a center (for you girls and the Beez, that's the lineman who "hikes" the ball to the quarterback in football). The Grunion demonstrates the stance below.

I came to this decision for a number of reasons.  First, no kid WANTS to be the center.  Every kid wants to be the quarterback, a receiver, or a running back. but the "bigger" kids are always forced to be linemen (I know this from experience).  This means that if the Grunion at least starts learning/practicing how to be a center early on, he will be a shoe-in to be the center (first in pee-wee, then in junior high, then in high school, etc.).

Second, statistics show that centers are injured WAY less than other positions.  This means a longer career (and less worry from mom).  Centers have the fourth-longest average careers-meaning more years to make $$$.

Third, there are far less centers competing for scholarships (and subsequent NFL contracts) than for other "glory" positions.  This means a greater possibility for a college scholarship (cha-ching!) and the greater possibility for an NFL contract (cha-ching2!).

Of course, it 's possible that the Grunion will want to be a ballet dancer.  And that's okay.  But only if he makes a TON of money doing it (and gives me some of the money).