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Friday, February 18, 2011

The Grunion Educates Z

GRUNION:  Yo, dude.  I'm older than you, so I'm gonna lay some wisdom on ya.
Z: You're only like 8 weeks older.

GRUNION: Listen up.  You gotta ALWAYS keep the rents on their toes.  If they're too relaxed, they may forget to record an episode of the street or gabba, and they may even forget one of your meals!

Z: Dang!  How do I keep em frosty?

GRUNION:  First of all, you gotta do weird stuff so they pay attention constantly.
Z: Like what?
GRUNION: See how many of these animal crackers you can fit in your mouth at once.
Z:  Mmmmkay

GRUNION:  One more!
Z: Mmmph!

GRUNION:  One more!
Z: Mmmph!

GRUNION:  And another!

GRUNION:  Cool.  Now I'll massage your head. See how the rents are all agitated?  They've even got that flashy thing out.
Z: Mm-hmm.

Z: I'm feelin a bit woozy...

GRUNION:  Another good one is to make the poop face even when you haven't.  It keeps em guessing.
Z: Like this?
GRUNION: Perfect!

GRUNION:  Okay, here's another one.  Every time the rents give you a sippy, you gotta hose it all down pronto.  That way they think you're way thirstier than you actually are, and then you get more!
Z: Cool.  Got it.

GRUNION: Lesson four.  You gotta CONSTANTLY open doors and drawers that you're not supposed to.  This keeps em totally focused on you.
Z: Cool.

GRUNION:  See how they have to get up off the couch to come tell us "no"? 
Z: Yup.
GRUNION:  By the way, later they're gonna put these little lock things on all the doors-but you'll figure out how to get them off in no time.  I just break em off cause it takes the rents a while to buy new ones.
Z:  Word.

GRUNION:  Whoa!  Here's a great one!  I don't have stairs at my house, but I wish I did!  The rents REALLY freak out if you hang out on the stairs!  Come on!
Z: Crap!  I can't climb stairs yet!

GRUNION:  Here's another good one!  ALWAYS let the dogs lick your hands.  This freaks out the rents bad!
Z: Solid.  It feels cool too.

Z: Thanks for all the knowledge, bro!  Let's jam!
GRUNION and Z: Early in the mornin, hop into the benz, I got forty-four ways of gettin paid...

1 comment:

  1. OMG! I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. Love this one!


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