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Monday, March 14, 2011

Salty Dog

I have always believed that the old adage "if you can't say something nice about someone (publicly), then don't say anything at all" falls under the jurisdiction of the golden rule.  And generally I adhere to this wisdom.  But every once in a while, you get a kick in the pants from the world that makes you realize that you can't always live by the golden rule.

Case in point: Salty Dog across from Baum stadium in Fayetteville.  I went there with the Luv Me Tenders guy and Jacques today and I have to say I am still in shock.

Strike 1:  We ordered diet sodas.  When we tasted them, THEY WERE THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER VOLUNTARILY DRANK IN MY LIFE.  The Luv Me Tenders guy went WTF on the waitress, and she informed us that it was Sam's Choice Diet Cola.  Nice.  Nice and DISGUSTING.

Strike 2:  I ordered fries.  This is what I got.  There were about 30 of them.

I think they hijacked a food delivery truck that was on its way to a junior high school and pulled a bag of the crappiest fries on the planet out of the truck, ripped open the bag, smeared the fries all over the street, put them back in the bag, let a wino piss in the bag, let a dog crap in the bag, and then fried them up for us.  Disgusting.

Jacques dropped one of the crap fries into my crap soda in an attempt to make it taste better.  The Luv Me Tenders guy even added a little salt.  It did not help.

Strike 3:  When I got my ticket, I almost fainted.  $4.99 for the WORST FRIES I have ever had in my life!  We called the waitress over to ask if it was a mistake and she said, "sorry, I don't make the prices".   Oh, and the ticket also listed my drink as a "Sprite".  $2.25 for Sam's Diet Cola.  I should have drank all of it for that amount of money.

It should come as no surprise to you that the place was completely empty except for us.  I imagine it looks that way all the time, as they have no doubt tricked a large number of people already.  Shame on you, Salty Dog for your treachery.  I can only imagine what happens if you order a beer in this joint.  They probably bring you something they brewed in a bathtub that they poured into a Bud bottle-and then charge you $6 for it.

Although I have never suggested this to readers before, I strongly urge you to stay away from Salty Dog, and spread the word that it is in fact THE WORST BAR/RESTAURANT in Fayetteville.

0 out of 10.  I feel violated.

1 comment:

  1. Getting shit on like this is the worst feeling ever. It reminds me of something that happened to us in Florida. I wrote a review very similar to yours.


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