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Thursday, November 4, 2010


Ponder these great moments in Fayetteville history:
1828-Fed takes back land previously "given" to Cherokees.
1829-Courthouse is built.
1858-Mail service begins.
1871-University of Arkansas is founded.
1881-Railway reaches Fayetteville.
1909-First movie house opens.   
1916-First public library is established.
1918-Some streets are paved.
1946-Drake Airfield opens.
1966-Beaver dam constructed.
1972-NWA Mall opens.
1988-Gibby arrives in Fayetteville.
1992-Walton Arts Center opens.
2009-The Grunion is born.
2010-Cafe Delta Soul begins THE MEGA BURGER CHALLENGE.

That's right people, Fayetteville is finally a real city.  Cafe Delta Soul (located in the Kantz Center at the corner of Mission and Crossover) is the new joint that Mike (formerly of Herman's) opened a few weeks ago.

On the menu is a 6-POUND MEGA BURGER that is free if you eat it (and a giant order of fries) in 45 minutes (the menu says 30 minutes, but they have extended it to 45).  Being a mega burger veteran (see HERE) I was confident in my ability to destroy the burger.

GIBBY:  I'll have the mega burger.
WAITER JAMES:  ***chuckling*** Okay.

The chef (whose name is Peacock) let me take a look at the patty as it was cooking.
GIBBY (thinking to himself):  Sweet.  That patty's not so big.  I'll be able to destroy it!  I wonder why he's making three.  Maybe some other people ordered them as well....

GIBBY:  Hey guys, what do you think my odds of success are?
BANDIT:  Arrrgh!  50 percent.

GRUNION:  How should I know? I haven't even seen the thing.

After we ordered, we waited.

And waited-for what seemed like an eternity (30 minutes).

While we waited, The Grunion entertained us by chugging on his "power sippy".  He claimed that it gave him special powers.

Eventually they brought forth the beast(s).

GRUNION:  Is there a percent chance that's lower than zero?

Here's a picture to show some scale.  Shocking considering The Grunion isn't exactly "petite".

It seems I was mistaken about the size of the burger, AS ALL THREE PATTIES WERE INCLUDED.  Plus, the order of fries would feed an army.  This was WAY more food than at Ed Walker's.  I knew I was screwed, but I donned my headband and charged forward anyway.

I decided my strategy would be to try to finish off the fries first since they would be worthless to take home.  To my dismay, the fries were fresh-cut and kind of mushy.  Boo.  Since I'm pretty sure the amount if fries that's part of this challenge is not the ordinary order I will have to return to review them later.

After putting a major dent in the fries, I cut the burger up into 1.2 POUND SECTIONS and started in.  It was very tasty.  In fact, I would recommend it even if you weren't attempting the challenge.  Incidentally, at $25 for the burger and fries, 5 people could easily be stuffed with burger and fries for $5 each.

I made sure to eat some lettuce (and drink Diet Coke) to keep the meal on the healthy side.

GRUNION:  Hey pop, are you done with that burger yet?  I'll eat whatever you don't finish.  It'll probably be no good to take home anyway and the pediatrician said I can have real food now and I'm REALLY hungry so if you're done I'll have some now if you're done okay?  Are you done?  Can I have it?  Can I just touch it?  Let me smell it.

The challenge was clearly going to defeat me, and as a last ditch effort I tried The Grunion's power sippy.  It didn't help.

Needless to say, after MOST of the fries and 2.4 POUNDS of burger I threw in the towel. 

This is what remained.  Enough to feed a family of 4 for a week.

Owner Mike called me a wimp in the nicest possible way.

GRUNION:  Now are you done pop?  Can I have the rest?  I'm really hungry and remember the pediatrician said I could have real food now and I'm really hungry and since you're not gonna finish it it seems like kind of a disgrace to the family and I can try to redeem our honor...

The Grunion finished off the rest of the burger in like 18 minutes.  The table of people sitting next to us was astounded.  "That's gotta be some kind of record for a 2 year-old to eat that much", one of the other patrons said.  It would've been REALLY embarrassing if they knew that The Grunion was only a year old.

Victory:  Mega Burger (sort of, since The Grunion killed the remains)

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