As we arrived in the parking lot, I thought we should document our arrival for posterity. A bum hanging around the place who was clearly on meth offered to take the picture for us, but I thought the old "camera on the car roof and the self-timer trick" would be better.
GIBBY: Let's see....timer....set? Push this button to start the timer and....DAMMIT!
As we settled into position, we felt confident. The waitress guessed which of us would be successful.
WAITRESS: Um...what's the guy's name in the razorback shirt?
US: The Beez.
WAITRESS: He looks like he'll take 3 hours to finish our smallest burger (she was right about that). That fat guy in the blue shirt with the sunglasses might be able to eat two of them.
***Fat Albert-style laughter from the whole crew***
I would like to point out that Clay told us about this burger challenge, but refused to participate (probably cause he didn't want to get his white shirt messy).
Four of us decided to attempt the challenge. I was surprised to hear that Ian thought he could do it.
GIBBY: Ian, are you sure you want to try? I will pay for the burger, but you have to really try...
IAN: Oh yeah! I can do it! Get me one!
We were a little blown away when they delivered the behemoth burgers.
IAN: Wait...you mean these are actually made of actual hamburger meat? Gross! I'll just be eating the fries and drinking sodas.
About half way through the 45-minute time limit, Sexy Brad announced that he just sharted. Chachie requested to be seated at a table at least a county away from Sexy Brad.
GIBBY: These other guys are chumps. I got this with 5 minutes to spare.
GIBBY: Wha? I HATE onions and pickles and tomatoes! Can you just bring me more fries to make up for the volume?
WAITRESS: Nope. Time's up. You fail.
After eating 5 pounds of hamburger (and lord knows how many more pounds of bread, fries, and soda), we needed to use a restroom. We all decided that the best idea would be to use the restroom at the Fort Smith airport since it was voted "Best Public Restroom in America" by Cintas in 2005 (seriously, check out the USA Today article HERE).
Ed Walker's is still there (on Towson), and still offering the burger challenge. I don't suggest you try it, but it is worth seeing once in your life.