As we all know from the teachings of Chuck Palahniuk, the first (and second) rule of Fight Club is that you do not talk about Fight Club. What you may not know is that there is a more secret club in existence called Hair Club that predates Fight Club (and that some say inspired Chuck's novel) that dictates that you cannot even THINK about Hair Club unless you are alone. I'm risking my entire grooming future grooming by exposing this information, but I thought it was time for the world to know. Please note that the identities of Hair Club members have been obscured to protect the innocent.
On a nondescript street in a nondescript town (not Fayetteville) in a nondescript country there is a nondescript house.
Next to this nondescript house is a nondescript door.
Inside this nondescript door is the Hair Club.
Hair Club is a fully-functional salon complete with hair coloring thingys.
And hair care products galore.
But you would never know it, because Hair Club is super-secret. You have to be invited to join Hair Club by the president (pictured below) and to gain admission you must submit to a hair beat-down.
It is brutal. I was personally the victim of a vicious highlighter yellow hair coloring as my entrance into the club.
Did I mention that the only time a spot opens up in Hair Club is when a current member dies? It is that exclusive. You can also be kicked out of Hair Club for a number of reasons including bitchery, doucherey, or attempting to pay for services with Canadian dollars. So, the next time you are driving down a nondescript street in your nondescript town, be aware that behind a nondescript door next to a nondescript house there may be a secret hair society operating without your knowledge.
Hair Club has nothing to do with french fries, but The Beez bet me 10 bucks I couldn't use the word nondescript in a post 12 times.