Sassy's is....well.....Sassy!

Sassy's Red House is in a cursed location. Seriously, it has been like 10 different joints since I have lived in Fayetteville. It's like that place at the corner of College and Township across from the Walgreen's. Nothing seems to last there either. Until now. Sassy's has held on longer than any place that I can remember and I think now I know why. THEIR FRIES!

Sassy's big draw seems to be this giant deck on the side of the building.  I guess if there were like 200 people and some loud music playing you wouldn't notice the traffic noise from North College.....

AMY:  Hey honey, they have OTHER STUFF on the menu besides fries.  Wanna try a salad or a wrap?

GIBBY:  No.  In fact, I'm going to complain to the management of this joint that they call the fries "sidekicks".

We (or I should say I) ordered regular fries, waffle fries, and something called "Irish Nachos", which are basically nachos using fried potato slices instead of chips.  The presentation was promising:

The Irish Nachos were meh.  The potato slices were cut too thick so they were undercooked, but even if they were thinner the whole thing would still be meh-plus they are like 6 bucks.  Skip em.

The waffle fries are AWESOME.  I doubt they are made in-house, but they are some of the best I've had around here.  They were crisp, hot, savory, and for $1.99 we got a full basket. 10 out of 10.

Here is where things get interesting.  You should know by now that I am not a fan of natural cut fries (mainly because they don't ever seem to be cooked properly) but Sassy's is doing it right.  I think I may have solved the mystery, too.  Sassy's cuts their fries at 1/4 of an inch.  Most other places go 3/8" or even 1/2".  The smaller size seems to fry better, and these are definitely the best natural cut fries I have had so far in Fayetteville.  However, for $1.99 I felt that the basket should have had more than 41 fries, so I am giving them a 9 out of 10.

AMY:  Boy, these waffle fries sure would be good with a tasty salad or something green...

GIBBY: Weirdo.

By the way, if you sit outside at Sassy's, wear sunscreen.  I got a sunburn.

Scotch Eggs Rule Texas

One of my fry spies (not Shannon R) reports that scotch eggs are on the menu in Texas.

Tough Loss

When your team loses, the best thing to do is sleep in a bowl for 12 hours. Now, where can I find a 6 foot diameter bowl....

The Grunion and Remy

REMY:  Hey Grunion, give me your hand and I'll read your palm.
GRUNION: What are you talking about?

REMY:  I learned psychic ability from a Nora Roberts book.
GRUNION:  Wait.  Nora who?

REMY:  Whoa!  I see terrible calamity in your future!

GRUNION: What is it?  Does Elmo get hurt?

REMY:  I foresee that your formula will be contaminated with bug larvae and it will cause you intestinal discomfort and irritability.  Your formula will be unavailable and you won't be able to have it.

GRUNION: Oh no!  I'm doomed!  I'll starve!

REMY:  Ha!  I'm just messin with you!  How could bug larvae get into formula?  You are so gullible!

REMY:  Woo Hoo!  What a rube!  I got you so bad!

NEWSCASTER ON TV:  This just in-Abbot industries has just announced a massive recall of it's popular Similac baby formula due to possible contamination with bug larvae.
REMY:  Whoa....maybe I am psychic!  I wonder if this spoon is a magic wand....

GRUNION:  No formula?  No bottles?  Okay, don't panic.  I know what to do cause I saw this in a movie once.  We'll all draw straws and eat whoever loses.

IMPORTANT REMINDER

Paul Summerlin's EP is now available for purchase HERE.  Old school fans can revel in two new versions of Harvest Time, and the other songs will cause all the musicians now abed to hold their musicianhoods cheap whiles any speaks of St. Summerlin's Day.

Jo Jo's BBQ

One of my fry spies (not Duke B) reports that Jo Jo's BBQ in Sherwood has tasty stuff.  Check it out.

Scotch Eggs: The Second Best Thing Ever

As we all know, deep-fried mac and cheese is the best thing ever.  A close second is scotch eggs.  Start by making a bunch of hard-boiled eggs.  Use the smallest ones you can find. 

Incidentally, my dad told me how to make perfect hard-boiled eggs: 
1.  put the eggs in cold water in a pot
2.  heat the water until it boils, then boil for exactly 2 minutes
3.  remove the pot from the heat and put a cover on the pot
4.  leave the pot sitting for exactly 11 minutes
5.  remove the lid and run cold water through the pot to gradually cool them

Next, hand mix some thyme and sage in with some breakfast sausage-the kind that comes in a tube.  I like to use the "hot" kind cause it has more flavor.  1/2 teaspoon of thyme and sage for each pound of sausage.

Trick your brother-in-law into peeling all the hard-boiled eggs by promising to give him a back rub.  Note:  do not give your brother-in-law a back rub.  Give him a few beers instead.

Lay down some plastic food wrap and smash the sausage flat on top of it.  Lay down another layer of plastic wrap and then roll the sausage out as flat as you can.

Use a round object to cut circle shapes out of the flattened meat.

Here comes the crazy part.  Wrap the sausage around the egg to make a ball.

The size of the finished balls will depend on how big your eggs are, but try to keep the layer of sausage to 1/4 inch at most.

Sprinkle a little flour on the balls and place them in a pan or whatever.  You can prep a bunch of these a few days before you want to cook them and keep them in the fridge or freezer.  Just make sure you wrap them in something non-sticky.

When you're ready, DEEP FRY THOSE SUCKERS!  WOO HOO!

After a few minutes, what you get is the second best thing ever.  Eat 4 or 5.  Celebrate your victory over lameness.

By the way, some online recipes for scotch eggs suggest that you batter the balls.  Don't.  It's not necessary and it keeps the sausage from cooking properly.

Z Interprets Exodus 5

Z: Yo!  Tons of fun!  Let me practice my acting scene on you.  It's from the bible.  I have an audition for a baby food commercial coming up and I want to stay frosty.
GIBBY:  Umm.  Okay.  Wait-did you call me tons of fun?

Z:  Let me get my wardrobe on here.

Z:  Let my people go, cause there's a cool music festival in the desert.

Z: No!  I am Pharrell Williams!  And I say you have to make bricks without straw!

Z:  Bricks without straw?  How can we make bricks without straw?

Z:  I don't know!  Ask Charlton Heston!

Z:  And scene.  Get outta here Grunion!  You weren't in the scene.
GRUNION:  Uh, I was a gaffer.

Burger Life?

This place is now open on Joyce in Fayetteville where the Marketplace used to be.  Strange?  Definitely.

Guess I'll have to find out if they have fries...

Louie's: A Strong Contender

UPDATE: This place is closed down.  It is now Smitty's Garage.

The other day, Paul said that he thought the fries at Louie's (on Joyce in Fayetteville) were good.  Normally I wouldn't listen to Paul's opinion cause he doesn't eat fries, but his neck was hurting so I felt bad and we checked it out.

Lo and behold!  $1.99 for a great amount of fries (75+) that were hot, crisp, and had a hint of some type of  tasty seasoning.

I got the impression that even though we were only ordering fries, they actually cared about making the fries well and presenting them in the best possible way.   Paul was so proud.

Bravo, Louie's!  10 out of 10 and a very close second to Grub's (but only because Grub's has that fry dip).

Z Tells a Story

Z: Hey Gigantor!  Wanna hear a story I made up?
GIBBY:  Sure.  And stop calling me Gigantor.

GRUNION: Is this the one about the alligator in the bus?

Z:  No!  Stop interrupting!

Z:  Let's see, where was I....once upon a time one of the Coppola dudes' wife left him.  He got all depressed and decided to go to Vegas and he was all-

Z:  I'm gonna drink a whole bunch and then win an Oscar.

Z:  And the Karate Kid's girlfriend was like "Boo-hoo.  Please don't drink so much!"

Z:  And the Coppola guy was like, "Whatever!  I'm gonna use the Oscar I win from this to make really crappy movies for the next 10 years".  The End.

GRUNION: The one about the alligator is better.