Hot Rod Mike's

Hot Rod Mike's is one of those places you pass by every once in a while and say to yourself, "I should check that place out sometime.  It might be awesome".  Located on North Drake street (basically right behind Ben Jack's music), HRM's is a full-service restaurant AND custom hot rod building shop.  Quite a concept, really.

HOT ROD MIKE:  Hi, I'd like a business loan please.
LOAN OFFICER:  Okay, what's the business?
HOT ROD MIKE:  Custom hot rod building shop bar and grill.
LOAN OFFICER:  ?

On a Friday at high noon, there were 5 people in the place (including us).  Not a good sign.  Speaking of signs, they have this GIANT NEON SIGN inside the place.  Seems like it would have been a good idea to put it on the outside of the building, but whatever.

I went with two fellow food aficionados, Jack and Todd.  They were instantly put off by the over-the-top car stuff decor.

Todd ordered the fried chicken sandwich "plain"-which we understood to mean no lettuce, mayo, onion, etc.  Jack ordered the "Chicago Dog"-which we understood to mean big, savory dog with steamed bun and lots of tasty toppings with onion rings on the side.  I (naturally) ordered the fries.  Jack wanted it pointed out that the iced tea was instant.

Then we waited.  And waited.  And waited.  Did I mention we ordered basically fries and a hot dog?  Did I mention that there was only one other table?  Todd and Jack were getting more and more pissed by the minute.

35 MINUTES LATER, this is what Jack got.  I guess hot dogs in Chicago have changed significantly cause his was tiny and generic.  The onion rings were also apparently of the "blackened" variety.  Sorry the picture is not great, but I was laughing too hard to keep the camera steady.

This is what Todd got.  TWO CHICKEN TENDERS ON A DRY BUN!  Well, he did ask for it "plain".  After our astonishment passed, we started laughing uncontrollably.  I mean Jack and I laughed.  Todd did not laugh. 

Here is what I got.  A good amount (66) of crinkle-cut fries for $1.79.  Unfortunately for me, they sucked.  Straight out of the institutional bag.  Tasteless.  4 out of 10 (and only cause there were a lot).

You can skip HRM's.  I don't know what their specialty is, but it ain't fries and if it takes 35 minutes to produce this crap, then whatever their "good" thing is probably takes 2 hours.