Grunion and Z Watchin the Hogs

GRUNION:  These headbands should help the razorbacks win the game, huh?
Z: Nope.  Our 4-3 cover 2 man double nickel defense is how we're gonna win.
GRUNION:  What? 
Z:  Nothing.

GRUNION:  This thing is itching my head.  Can you scratch the back of my head? 
Z:  Sure. 
GRUNION:  To the left....lower....higher....more left...

GRUNION and Z:  TOUCHDOWN! 

***2 hours later***

GRUNION:  And another touchdown.   Boring!

GRUNION:  When I'm big enough to play college football in 2 years I'm gonna be kicker cause apparently they get all the chicks! 
Z:  Bwaaaahahahahah! 

Victory:  Razorbacks