The Washington County Fair is Fry Deficient

Yesterday was "dollar day" (meaning it only cost a dollar to get in as opposed to the usual 5 dollars) at the Washington County Fair, so Aunt Cindy and Uncle T decided to take the Grunion there to see what he thought about it.  Amy and I tagged along to see if there were any good fries.  Check out the inappropriately dressed chick in the background behind Aunt Cindy.  She was probably on the phone bitching to her agent- "I am a legitimate actress!  What the hell am I doing here!"

Most dictionaries define the county fair as a (usually annual) gathering  held especially for the competitive showing of livestock and farm products.  This type of activity goes on at the Washington County Fair, but the Grunion didn't understand it.  Aunt Cindy tried to explain it to him.

AUNT CINDY: Grunion, this is a show cow.  She is being judged right now by the judges.
GRUNION: AAAAAAAHHHHH!  Giant kitty!  Run away!  Run away!

AUNT CINDY:  It's okay, Grunion.  Cows are nice.  See, look at the little girl sleep on the nice cow.

GRUNION:  Dude.  Seriously?

AUNT CINDY:  Look at the pretty chicken.
GRUNION:  How do they get that thing into my food jar?

While Aunt Cindy and the Grunion were off looking at the "before" version of food, I was on a fry hunt. The Farmington PTSA was selling fries for a dollar.  They were straight out of the bag of frozen fries that they serve in elementary schools.  Boo.  Even at a dollar, they were tasteless.  4 out of 10.

I moved on to the carny food booths.  Holy crap!  The Potato House!  I figured the fries were probably awesome! 

4 bucks later, I got a freshly cut, uncooked, slimy pile of mess.  The worst EVER.  0 out of 10.

Cousin Lisa got the "spiral cut" fries from the Potato House a while later.  They are the best potato-type fried thing at the fair, but at 5 bucks they still only rate a 4 out of 10.

There was only one other carny booth that had fries.  For 3 bucks, I got a decent amount of average fries.  Much better than the potato house.  7 out of 10.

Unfortunately, Aunt Cindy also got a corn dog from this place that was ice cold and when she went back to the window to have them warm it up they gave her crap so this place can suck it.  While I was taking this picture, Aunt Cindy was at the window raising hell.  She got her money back.  Stupid carnies.

KYLE:  Hey Amy, look at the grave markers for all the animals they cook for the fair.
AMY:  Really?  Is that what they are?
KYLE:  *snicker*

Here's the funnel cake I had to buy Amy for the grave markers bit.

AUNT CINDY:  We better get going Grunion, it's getting dark and it looks like it's going to rain soon.

GRUNION:  Thank God for the rain which has helped wash away the garbage and trash off the sidewalks.

GRUNION:  All the animals come out at night.  Whores, skunks, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies.  It's sick.  Venal.  Someday a real rain will come and wash this scum off the streets.

AUNT CINDY:  Easy, little Travis Bickle.  Try this funnel cake.

GRUNION:  Whoa!  Maybe there's ONE good thing about the fair...