As we all know, deep-fried mac and cheese is the best thing ever. A close second is scotch eggs. Start by making a bunch of hard-boiled eggs. Use the smallest ones you can find.
Incidentally, my dad told me how to make perfect hard-boiled eggs:
1. put the eggs in cold water in a pot
2. heat the water until it boils, then boil for exactly 2 minutes
3. remove the pot from the heat and put a cover on the pot
4. leave the pot sitting for exactly 11 minutes
5. remove the lid and run cold water through the pot to gradually cool them
Next, hand mix some thyme and sage in with some breakfast sausage-the kind that comes in a tube. I like to use the "hot" kind cause it has more flavor. 1/2 teaspoon of thyme and sage for each pound of sausage.
Trick your brother-in-law into peeling all the hard-boiled eggs by promising to give him a back rub. Note: do not give your brother-in-law a back rub. Give him a few beers instead.
Lay down some plastic food wrap and smash the sausage flat on top of it. Lay down another layer of plastic wrap and then roll the sausage out as flat as you can.
Use a round object to cut circle shapes out of the flattened meat.
Here comes the crazy part. Wrap the sausage around the egg to make a ball.
The size of the finished balls will depend on how big your eggs are, but try to keep the layer of sausage to 1/4 inch at most.
Sprinkle a little flour on the balls and place them in a pan or whatever. You can prep a bunch of these a few days before you want to cook them and keep them in the fridge or freezer. Just make sure you wrap them in something non-sticky.
When you're ready, DEEP FRY THOSE SUCKERS! WOO HOO!
After a few minutes, what you get is the second best thing ever. Eat 4 or 5. Celebrate your victory over lameness.
By the way, some online recipes for scotch eggs suggest that you batter the balls. Don't. It's not necessary and it keeps the sausage from cooking properly.